Mighty Mississippi Minds

This is lovely. Thank you. 

Fascinating memories, and eerily similar to my own. I was a fuckeuppe my freshman year, ended it with a 1.58 GPA (no idea why I remember the exact number), and was placed on academic probation to start my sophomore year. I, too, wanted to be left alone by adults to get drunke, smoke weede, and chase girls at fraternity parties, but also wanted to be noticed as SPECIAL! and TALENTED!

I got my wish in the Spring of my sophomore year, when I was called in to the office of Professor ES, a huge figure in the field of physiology and a former provost of the university. He was the director of a “scholars” program I had been inducted into as part of my admission to the university, I presume based on the fact that while my high-school grades were mediocre, my list of books I had read during high-school that was part of the application to this school (no idea of universities ask for that anymore from applicants) contained hundreds of books, all of them difficult and none of them assigned.

So I go into his office, and he is this tall dude with white hair wearing a suit and bowtie. And he goes, “So! Mr. Physio! You are part of the scholars program because we have identified you as someone who should get involved with our faculty’s original research. What is you major?”

And I am just thinking, “Shitte, man. I just want to drinke beer, smoke weede, and chase girls at frat parties. What the fucke is this dude’s problem?”

So I go, “My major is blah”, {somewhat technical humanities discipline}. And he said, “What has interested you about your courses in that major?” And I go, “Well, I like thinking about the nature of humanity and what it means to be a human being.”

So he goes, “AH!! Well, it’s very nice to think about the nature of humanity from the standpoint of {somewhat technical humanities discipline}, but if you really want to understand how and why human beings are how we are, you need to understand human PHYSIOLOGY!”

At this point, the dude has risen from his chair and is declaiming all this shitte very dramatically. And I am all thinking, “What the fucke is uppe with this lunatic? I gotta get the fucke out of here!”

So then he goes, “OK! Mr. Physio! You go see Professor AE in the biology department! You tell him I sent you, and you tell him you are going to work in his lab with Dr. JS, one of his post-docs! Now go!” And he writes down these people’s names on a piece of paper and the building and room number of Professor AE’s lab.

So I put the piece of paper in my pocket, and scurry out of there with relief, go find some of my cronies and drinke beer, smoke weede, and chase girls at fraternity parties.

A day or so later, I find this piece of paper in my pocket. And I can’t explain why, and I don’t even remember the decision itself, but I presented myself at Professor AE’s lab with the piece of paper, and explained to his secretary who I was and why I was there. So she goes, “Hmm. Wait right here.”

And she goes back into an office and I hear murmuring for a few moments, and then this dude comes out. And just like Professor ES, he’s got white hair and a bowtie, but he’s short, much shorter than ES.

And he goes, “Mr. Physio! Welcome to my lab! Let’s go introduce you to Dr. JS!”

And I thereby got drawn into the world of biomedical research, and the thing that was amazing was that within a few months of working in the lab and generating my own data, I was treated by a diverse group of faculty, post-docs, and grad students all working in this particular area of physiology as a COLLEAGUE, and not as a punkeasse undergrad who just wanted to drinke beer, smoke weede, and chase girls at fraternity parties. It was a heady experience–akin to how you describe being given REAL RESPONSIBILITY as a writer and editor at a real publication.

If not for Professors ES and AE (both, sadly, since deceased, the former at a ripe old age and the latter tragically and too young), and Dr. JS, still one of my closest friends and colleagues, I would surely not by Comradde PhysioProffe!

Thanks for posting this; it reminds me of what college is for.  In my current position, I am accidentally in the field of instructional technology, which used to be about helping faculty and students use computers, but has now been taken over by people who really wish they were on the other side of the house and think that they have something to contribute to “teaching and learning” because they read “education theory” (gag me with a rubber mallet).  They seem to think that they can march students through a series of exercises, determine that they have acquired “skill sets,” and that this mechanical process somehow equates to having an education.  Your description of the weirdness, wackiness, strangeness, and unexpectedness of not only being a student but becoming a human being reassures me that I’m not crazy to think that college is really this.  I may not be able to convince any of my co-workers that college is better left unplanned in order to be surprised, but at least I won’t be missing anything if I continue to tune them out.   You go, TR!

Thanks very much for providing insight into my own years of trial and error, as well as helping me realize the importance of giving more than a glancing thought to the needs of a student who may not quite be as “together” as necessary to yield some level of academic success. Just finished reading an article on students and procrastination. There seem to be stong correlations between frequency of procrastination and academic outcomes. As an undergraduate student, I always put off assignments until the day/night before then was thrilled when I was awarded a “c”. Now I am a doctoral student and still procrastinate. The difference is that I am more together and know my material so feel more confident putting some assignments off.

Now ask me how I respond to late student assignments due to me. I listen, then respond by forgiving with a new non-negotiable time frame or cutting them off. “It’s in the syllabus. You’re an adult. Read it.” Oh man, practice what you preach Guttery. Certainly, your comments have opened my eyes to my own foiables and to the needs of the non-together student.

Great essay!  Love the active links too! A nice tribute to those who helped you along the way.

Wonderful essay and I love the tributes you have to your professors and TAs. The story about Sairi Ribicoff is heartbreaking. What a terrible loss.

“I, and I suspect many of my peers, had three desires that were utterly in conflict: to be invisible, to be free and to be special.”  EXACTLY.  This is a terrific insight into late adolescent psychology (although you are not a mother and can’t possibly fully understand children and adolescents.) 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all high school and college students could tell a story like this about a teacher or a proffie/dean?

Fortunately I was able to donate my ovaries to someone who could really use them ; – )

Thanks. A good insight into the college life, but lot depends on luck of meeting right people at the right time and place.