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On Second Thought, Chocolates Probably Are the Better Gift

April 6, 2011, 2:58 pm

Lots of writers like to do it on Valentine’s Day: They write about sex, but they coyly avoid a direct discussion of coupling among members of Homo sapiens.

Instead they write of long-ago tales of courtship and nudge readers along — when the act itself must be discussed — with rhetorical winks and double-entendre descriptions of animal mating rituals.

According to the Web site Retraction Watch, that’s how Lazar Greenfield started out his editorial in the February issue of Surgery News, the journal of the American College of Surgeons.

Dr. Greenfield, a professor emeritus in the department of surgery at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, offered an anecdote about the Roman Emperor Claudius II’s disdain for soldiers who marry. He wrote of fruit flies and then of rotifers, which  can choose between sexual and asexual reproduction.

And then Dr. Greenfield, who was editor of the Elsevier publication, jumped species, veering into sexual signals among humans, heterosexual and lesbian menstrual cycles, and the mood-enhancing ingredients found in semen. Citing a 2002 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, he wrote:Female college students having unprotected sex were significantly less depressed than were those whose partners used condoms. … The benefits of semen contact also were seen in fewer suicide attempts and better performance on cognition tests.”

He concluded, ”So there’s a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there’s a better gift for that day than chocolates.”

The American College of Surgeons pulled the issue offline, and David B. Hoyt, executive director of the organization, told Retraction Watch that the society was in the process of “preparing” it to be reposted.

Dr. Greenfield resigned as editor, and his position as president-elect of the American College of Surgeons is under review, Retraction Watch reported.

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  • 11223435

    I’m sure I speak for Robert Graves scholars and readers everywhere: thank god it wasn’t THAT Claudius he quoted!

  • keis8427

    C’mon people…comment…

    Where are all the educated holier-than-thou crowd who were all for the teacher doing the vibrator demonstration or the x-rated college magazine cover? Oh wait…is it because this is a surgeon and not an academic? Is that why there is silence?

    I hope this guy doesn’t believe the gibberish he wrote about and just was trying to be cutesy in a surgeon kind of way. Let’s face it, one is bound to have a warped sense of humor if you cut on people all day…

  • 11274501

    I have had the same facts mentioned to me several times over the years by folks who are insufficiently filtering themselves. Ok, its true, usually guys on the make.
    Just because he wrote it online means that he gets fired? Whatever happened to the days of “man that showed a lack of judgement” or ‘man you can think it but for God’s sake don’t say it out loud?” and a wrist slap?
    Besides, just because the subject may be “yucky” doesn’t make it any less true.
    AND, As far as I know mentioning semen is never politically correct, but I bet you could do it in Maxim or Rolling stone or Cosmopolitan without censure

  • http://stitchingincircles.etsy.com Tina

    Sigh…. the study cited raises Qs for me: since it is more likely that women will have unprotected sex when they are in a committed relationship rather than just a one night stand, I wonder if that was taken into account when discussing mood differences?

    http://www.stitchingincircles.blogspot.com

  • lizgibbons

    The study cited was from The Archives of Sexual Behavior; what do you expect, poetry, hearts and flowers? We all came from semen, for crying out loud, and I don’t think there are any children reading this who are still assuming a long-legged bird brought them to earth.

  • tee_bee

    Probably not. I know this guy’s work. It’s a bit odd. And I am skeptical of the science, as are some of his colleagues. But how many of us can claim that we’ve been cited in Cosmo? Alas, Cosmo doesn’t show up in the SCI or in Web of Science….

  • maxbini

    Context matters. This was an editorial piece for Valentine’s Day. The narrative progresses from a little known fact about St. Valentine and marriage (Claudius II had him arrested as he believed married soldiers were not as good at their job as single ones), to studies of fruit flies (diet related to mating preferences), to the shift between rotifers asexual reproduction to sexual reproduction (environmental changes requiring genetic changes), to the “offending” discussion of a study which showed that the frequency of semen absorption through the vagina correlated with less incidence of depression.

    These studies were not being critically analysed; that was not the point of the piece. Rather these various studies and the action of Claudius II were being juxtaposed to display the richness of their diversity (and a bit of admittedly school-boy humour).

    It would have been wise (admittedly easy to say now) to have added provisos such as Tina’s comment about committed relationships being likely to lead to less depression and the trust involved leading to unprotected sex. And the last (throw away) line would have been less offending if written as “gift for the one you love.” Being that the piece was written for Valentine’s Day, should this not have been assumed by an intelligent readership – or should all the readers be characterised as pseudo-Claudius IIs?

    I feel sorry for anyone who took offense at this article (and hope that they have not taken offense at my interpretation) but I do not believe that the taking of offense is justified.

  • oldfullprof

    Clearly a spurious relationship. Likely that a damn the torpedos full speed ahead approach drives both.

  • Jagan Mohan

    They have a word for this phenomenon…. a very distinguished scholar or personality with a very very long list of achievements, accolades and such, suddenly, out of the blue and for just once: does, blabbers or writes something totally un-kosher, only to repent it.

  • LBENT

    I am a surgeon, a member of the ACS, and a feminist activist, president of Expediting the Inevitable, an organization that helps women physicians fully, fairly and flexibly integrate into the healthcare workplace.
    I do not see anything wrong with this editorial. Dr. Greenfield, who is probably not as clever with this kind of subject as he thought he might be, tried to take a subject and present it in a clever way. Well, he wasn’t very clever, but I don’t think he was offensive either.
    I think we have a lot more to be concerned about as surgeons than whether one of the great leaders/thinkers/contributors to the careers of many surgeons (and btw many women surgeons it is told) should be pilloried for this article. I will write more on this at http://www.thebrodskyblog.com if anyone is interested.

  • wisernow

    I agree his joke is relatively harmless. This is in the ‘but for the grace of god’ category for those of us who write.

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