At Dartmouth College
That great font of knowledge
They’ll soon introduce
Though not a doctor, we all called him one,
A sign of respect for a man who had fun
Telling sing-songy stories that make parents groan
But that left us as children not feeling alone.
His real name was Geisel,
Theodor (with no “e”).
An incredibly generous
Author was he.
An alum from the class of nineteen twenty-five,
They say he gave more than any alive.
And for that they’ll remember him and his wife
(the woman with whom he spent most of his life).
The medical school will carry a plaque
(one you might see if you swallowed a tack
or got mauled by a bear
or a cat in a hat).
That plaque will name Audrey and her late husband, Ted,
As the pair who helped pay for your hospital bed
And the doctors, the X-rays, the pills, and the nurse.
You’ll go home all recovered and still have your purse.
—Don Troop
(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)
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