The student government at Bradley University, we learned from a column this week in the Peoria (ill.) Journal Star, has asked administrators to select a mascot for the institution’s sports teams.
Bradley hasn’t had a critter to get behind since it dumped its “Bobcat” nickname a decade ago, reports Phil Luciano. Three years ago, he says, efforts to nominate a new mascot fizzled.
“Somehow, after 300 suggestions, the final seven choices included a clock,” Mr. Luciano writes. “Seriously. Wow, how scary to the opposition, eh? Outside of a nursing home, time frightens no one.”
He suggests a rodent that comes up every time Bradley talks about getting a mascot: the squirrel. Or, as a team nickname, “the Bradley Fighting Squirrels.”
We’ll do him one better. Squirrels can be terrifying, it’s true, but if your name is Bradley, why not become “the Bradley Fighting Vehicles,” a nod to the armored machines of war?
Siva Vaidhyanathan, the University of Virginia associate professor of media law, wisecracked recently that if he ever became president of the City University of New York’s Hunter College, he would change the nickname from the “Hunter Hawks” to the “Hunter S. Thompsons.”
The possibilities are limitless: Taylor University could cheer for the “Taylor Maids.” Jocks at Lyon College could thrill crowds as “the Lyon Tamers.” And as one reader suggested a few weeks ago, “the Spoon River Anthologies” would be perfect.
Got any of your own? We’ll run the best suggestions in the print version of The Chronicle. —Don Troop
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90 Responses to Mascots We’d Like to See
irvi7996 - February 12, 2010 at 4:07 pm
The King’s College, located in the Empire State Building, should be the King’s Kongs.
academicentrepreneur - February 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm
The Hunter Gatherers.
cbres - February 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm
The Brown Bags
jbarman - February 12, 2010 at 4:17 pm
The Franklin and Marshall PlansLehigh FivesUrsinus Passages
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 4:22 pm
The Whitman Chocolates.The Alfred Noise.The George Washington Carvers
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 4:29 pm
McGill IcuddiesTulane Tulane Tulanes (“He’s so fine…”)Harvard BeetsOccidental Tourists
elgato1204 - February 12, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Too bad Hunter began admitting men, otherwise it could be the Hunteress Thompsons.
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Hope ChestsCoe Eds
jkarlin - February 12, 2010 at 4:52 pm
I’ve always wondered why Eastern Michigan University’s mascot wasn’t the Emus…
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Carroll ChanningsYale LocksAustin Peaye Standing Ups
johnglenn - February 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm
The Tulane Hummers
almoser - February 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Seattle University Insomniacs
johnglenn - February 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm
The Reed Instruments
charles_alison - February 12, 2010 at 5:05 pm
The Alfred Eenewmans: What, me worry about the score?The Allen WrenchesThe Andrews SistersThe Barry Caesars
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Colgate PalmolivesDartmouth WashThe Maine Squeeze[This is becoming addictive]
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:12 pm
(isn’t it?)The Gettysburg Addresses
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:16 pm
The Tulane Highways
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:21 pm
Army AntsNavy Beans
ofmbudget - February 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm
The Creighton BarrelsThe Bard StratfordiansThe Simpson HomersThe Stanford SomethingsThe Butler Monkeys
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Campbell SoupsNiagara Falls
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Cal Poly UnsaturatedsCal Lutheran HymnalsLiberty Half Dollars
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:26 pm
(I like Creighton Barrels)
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Manhattan SkylightsRider CupsIona Condos
ofmbudget - February 12, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I could I forget? The Bond James Bonds.
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Belmont StakesDenver Boots
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Ave Maria Gratia PlenasIdaho Gardens
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Winona State RidersHamline EggsDavidson Johns
rprotsik1 - February 12, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Clark BarsOxford ShirtsMt.Ida Hos
jruiz - February 12, 2010 at 5:48 pm
Quinnipiac TuariesMount Holyoke AcornsNew Mexico Highlands Scots
v8573254 - February 12, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Northwestern MusicsDePaul CorinthiansAurora Borealis(es)Grinnell Smiles
amcneece - February 12, 2010 at 6:22 pm
How about:The Auburn HairThe Ringling Circus (There actually is a Ringling College.)The St. John’s Wort
academicentrepreneur - February 12, 2010 at 9:52 pm
The Butler DiditsThe Coe DependentsThe Centre OfattentionsThe Brown NosersThe Penn Ultimates
sgnillib - February 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Virginia Wolves!
johnglenn - February 12, 2010 at 11:14 pm
The UNH unhs.
occidentalir - February 13, 2010 at 2:31 am
Even just limiting the discussion to single-sex colleges, the possibilities are endless:The Mills BrothersThe Smith & WessonsThe Wabash CannonballsThe Sweet Briar Patches
occidentalir - February 13, 2010 at 2:52 am
The Chicago 7 (works best for Ultimate frisbee and team handball)Chapman’s HomerAnd if you know a little Japanese …Ohio gozaimasu
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 9:33 am
The Rice KrispiesThe Pace MakersThe Regis PhilbinsThe Lenoir-Rhyne MaidensThe Bates BallsThe William and Mary Queen of ScotsThe Duke of Earls
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 9:34 am
The University of Bologna SandwichesThe University of London Fogs
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 9:34 am
The University of Paris Hiltons
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 9:37 am
The Coe ConspiratorsThe Haverford Fairlanes
willismg - February 13, 2010 at 9:43 am
The Pitt StopsThe MIT TensThe Salisbury SteaksThe Washington Posts
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:05 am
The Marshall MallowsThe Buffalo RoamsThe George Mason JarsThe Xaxier CougatsThe Chattanooga Choo ChoosThe Centenary A Drop to DrinksThe Morehead Pleases
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:07 am
The Hawaii Fine How Are Yous
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:09 am
The Pepperdine Rs Club
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:11 am
The Troy Soldiers
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:12 am
The Simmons Posturepedics
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 10:18 am
University of Pisa PiesUniversity of Paris HiltonsThe Sorbonne In the Ovens
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 10:21 am
oops , sorry rp, missed yours.
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 10:40 am
(no problem)The University of Manila FoldersThe University of Florence Nightingales
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 10:44 am
University of Hamburg ErsUniversity of Berlin Walls
waterman - February 13, 2010 at 11:09 am
The Princeton PaupersThe Harvard CommasThe Berkeley Epistemologists
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 11:14 am
The University of Toulouse LautrecsThe University of Nice Legs
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 11:36 am
“The University of Nice Legs”OK, ok, I know this is a stretch, but so are pantyhose ;).
rprotsik1 - February 13, 2010 at 11:51 am
Ha!
jruiz - February 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm
University of Toledo ScalesUniversity of Louisville Sluggers
slenjules - February 13, 2010 at 1:45 pm
For vocal jazz fans…The Berkeley SquaresThe West Virginia Mountain MommasThe Oregon DonorsThe Texas HoldemsThe Oklahoma SapiensThe Minnesota FountainsThe Michigan AndagainsThe Illinois IngsThe Kentucky YukiesThe Tennessee YalatersThe Delaware DressesThe Mississippi CupsThe Wisconsin NomoresThe Iowa Mint (in student loans)The Texas A & M Enems (no, not enema!)UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs?…no, too ridiculous!
willismg - February 14, 2010 at 12:10 am
The Embry-Riddle MethisesThe Emory BoardsThe Tennessee SawsThe Westminster Abbeys or Chimeswhimsy…
rprotsik1 - February 14, 2010 at 11:02 am
The Tufts Loves
rprotsik1 - February 14, 2010 at 11:03 am
The Westminster Cathedrals
rprotsik1 - February 14, 2010 at 11:34 am
Some of my personal favorites (in no particular order or offense to others)–The Creighton BarrelsThe Butler DiditsThe University of Pisa PiesThe Sweet Briar PatchesThe Mills Brothers (and Andrews Sisters)The Ave Maria Gratia PlenasThe Hamline EggsThe Brown Baggers (OK, I changed)The Colgate PalmolivesThe Hunter GatherersThe Lehigh FivesBut I give slenjules huge credit for thinking outside box, or being on drugs, whatever.
rprotsik1 - February 14, 2010 at 11:38 am
The Hope Springs Eternals
rprotsik1 - February 14, 2010 at 12:00 pm
If any of you follow college acapella singing, you’ll appreciate how similar our exercise is to theirs in coming up with clever names, eg., UNC Clefhangers, Cornell Hearsays and Touchtones (and Nothing But Trebles), MIT Logarythms and Chorallaries,Michigan State Acafellas, Brandeis VoiceMale, Smith Noteables, Bowdoin Ursus Verses, etc.
arrive2__net - February 14, 2010 at 9:08 pm
St. Mary’s DevilsCalifornia Quakers
stroble7 - February 14, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Webster DictionariesWebster DanielsFontbonne bonsWashington quartersWashington beltwaysLindenwood trees
higheredobserver - February 15, 2010 at 9:25 am
The SyraccusersThe Cornell WestsThe Columbia RecordsThe University at Buffalo WingsThe Slippery Rock Lawsuits Waiting to Happen
n2n_0131 - February 15, 2010 at 9:33 am
Columbia PicturesBarnard AnimalsAmherst Castles
cmsmw - February 15, 2010 at 9:45 am
Since the general subject was mentioned above, I’ll mention here that I’m fond of the men’s and women’s acapella groups at NC State University: Wolfgang and the Packabelles, respectively.
n2n_0131 - February 15, 2010 at 10:09 am
Elon GatorsPepperdine and DashersRice SteamersMarshall Arts
speterfreund - February 15, 2010 at 10:21 am
Emerson TranscendentalistsColby CheesesBates MotelsDrexel Wingchairs
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 10:42 am
Hiram WalkersAntioch Cidents (credit to my associate-GIP)Bard For LifersOccidental TouristsTriton MissilesCasper Friendly GhostsRutgers HauersRowan Upstreamers
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 10:54 am
Rockford Files
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 11:05 am
Did anyone say the Drew Barrymores?
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 11:17 am
This one’s a reach but how about the Adelphia ‘Eedom? Think about it….
crunchycon - February 15, 2010 at 11:44 am
slengjules #56 — the final “s” in Illinois is silent (pron. ill – anNOY) by residents.
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 12:10 pm
crunchycon – exactly as it was intended Ill annoy ing
slenjules - February 15, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Right, mwinks. Annoy-ing not annoy-Sing. Thanks for having my back.rprotsik1 (#60) – Thanks! And by the way, it’s a “groaner,” “punny” sense of humor, not drugs.
mwinks - February 15, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I’m with slenjules, nothing like the ” punny groaner!”Duck buys some chapstick, cashier says “cash or charge?”Duck says “Just put it on my bill.” (insert rimshot here)how about “Alabama Getaways” for all you old Deadheads like me?
crazyj - February 15, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Hawaii 5-0′sMaine DragsVermont CheddarsBowdoin (or Virginia) HamsOxford Cloths
sprocketman - February 15, 2010 at 8:59 pm
How about:The Smith McCoysThe Air Force OneThe Saint Lawrence of ArabiaThe Union GapThe Hamilton Joe Frank and Reynolds (am I dating myself?)The Wells FargoThe Rensselaer JetsThe Keene Peachy’s (ooooh, I better stop)
rtclibrary - February 16, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Elon MowersRice PuddingsWashburn AndBandageSmith BrothersAuburn TressesJohn Brown BodiesLyon CagesAlbertus Magnus LatinsCharter Oak FloorsFuller Brushes Whittier ComediansEdward Waters TheLawnBerry PiesMorehouse LessMoneyGonzaga ComezigasMartin LuthersKnox FortsWabash CannonBallsFriends AndEnemiesUnion StationsFisher MenMadonna Louise CicconesFranklin Pierce ArrowsPfeiffer MichellsHiram WalkersUrban Sprawls
rmelton5 - February 16, 2010 at 7:41 pm
UConn ArtistsStanford Model T’sThe Dykes of DurhamArizona Gales The Avons of BardWake Forest MournersKansas Wipers (or Holes)Lenoir Rhyne Stones Queens DragstrippersMt. Olive GardenersEckerd DruggistsIUPUI YuppiesBaylor Starrs
rprotsik1 - February 19, 2010 at 5:29 pm
The Occidental PregnanciesThe Post ToastiesThe Wheelock and LoadsThe UMass TransitsThe Franklin Pierce Pipes
rprotsik1 - February 20, 2010 at 11:41 am
The Pennsylvania LightbulbsThe Wyoming VasesThe Texas Chain Saw MassacresThe Oklahoma Runnas
rprotsik1 - February 20, 2010 at 11:42 am
The Ripon Zi Schemes
rprotsik1 - February 23, 2010 at 7:42 am
“Seven years after the University of Mississippi abandoned the use of Colonel Reb as its mascot, the university is considering restoring some (other) mascot…Today, students will vote only on the question of whether some mascot should be selected — or whether the university should remain without one.”Ole Miss AmericasOle Miss MannersOle Miss My Old Mascots?
rprotsik1 - February 23, 2010 at 7:48 am
I am imagining an NCAA final between the Rice Krispies and the Post Toasties.
12101821 - February 24, 2010 at 10:40 am
And just down the road from Ole Miss we have:The Mississippi Cups (it helps to be a parent of small children)The Tennessee SawsThe Alcorn DogsA&M &M’s
wallywood - March 1, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Marshall Dillons & Butler GeevesMinnesota Pops (also a music group)Remember the Students voted to replace the Marquette Warrior and the election was clearly won by Little Piggies, but administration choose the overdone golden eagles.Northwestern students DID vote to become the purple haze.West Virgina did NOT actually choose (there is a) Santa Claus.
66grad - March 5, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Ripon A New One(s)Pace MakersRandolph Macon Bacon(s)Antioch TegeneriansKnox GelatinsBrigham Young Wives
terrysinger - March 10, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I know the list is focused on college mascots, but my favorite is a real high school in Pennsylvania – Bishop Boyle who are the Lancers. No need to make anything else up there.