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March Geekiness: Tell Us Your Arbitrary NCAA Picks

March 14, 2011, 2:14 pm

The NCAA has released the tournament brackets for the 2011 Division I men’s basketball championship, so Tweed Madness is on: Tell us in the comments which team is going to win which matchup — the more obscure your reasoning, the better.

We’ll give you our own Final Four picks in a moment, but first, an obligatory academic digression.

Minutes after our announcement went out on Friday, friends started reminding us about other geeky approaches to bracketology:

* Richard Lapchick, director of the University of Central Florida’s Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport, compiles one that highlights which tournament teams do the best job of graduating their players.

* The Center for Responsive Politics offers the K Street College Classic (which our colleague Sara Hebel noted a couple years ago), awarding victory to whichever college spends the most money lobbying the federal government.

* Microsoft’s “The Old New Thing” blog for developers (the geekiest of all geeks) publishes an annual “Raymond’s highly scientific predictions” bracket, based on arbitrary criteria that change from year to year (2006 was tied to presidential longevity; in 2009, the team with the lowest graduation rate won).

* The American Economic Association did its own March Madness spinoff a couple years ago, “Market Madness,” in which factors that had contributed to the global financial meltdown were pitted against each other in a dismal blame game, with “Moral Hazards” defeating “Watchdogs” in the final contest.

And we’ve heard of other arbitrary and highly personal reasons for people’s picks, like med-school acceptance or rejection, the opinion of a robot, and even a guinea pig.

Herewith, our own Final Four picks and random justifications:

Southeast: Pittsburgh. Size matters, folks, and Pitt towers over everyone. Its Cathedral of Learning dwarfs all other academic buildings in the country, standing 535 feet tall. No one’s making a jump shot over that.

Southwest: St. Peter’s: Long before there was a Jersey City, before the Revolutionary War, the city on the west bank of the Hudson River was called “Pavonia,” aka “Land of the Peacock.” That’s how St. Peter’s became known as the Peacock Nation. These colors don’t run.

East: Indiana State. They’ve come a long way since they were known as the “Fighting Teachers.” Sycamore Sam, their current mascot, has a nice, unassuming Midwestern smile, but don’t let that fool you. (Also, don’t forget that this is the school that gave us Larry Bird.)

West: Hampton: Tenacity starts at the top here. Hampton’s president, William R. Harvey, is one of the longest-serving college presidents, having taken over in 1978. That kind of persistence will help the Pirates overcome long odds again: Ten years ago a 15th-seeded Hampton team bumped off a No. 2 seed, Iowa State. This year Hampton is seeded 16th, making the team a sure thing against the top-seeded Duke Blue Devils.

Remember: It’s not a tournament without some memorable upsets, and the best ones always come in the first round. And if we’re wrong, no problem. In Tweed Madness, everyone advances to the next round. This thing doesn’t end ’til April 4.

Now comes your turn: What are your picks? Tell us in the comments, and don’t forget to give us your witty, obscure, and ridiculous justifications. Your opinion is worth every bit as much as a guinea pig’s.

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  • cmorton001

    I personally think Notre Dame might have the final dance of this year’s tourney. When I read about the Pitt Towers, I could not help but think of the monolithic “Touchdown Jesus” peering over the shoulder of the Notre Dame Stadium. And I think a case can be made that a temporary name change to “Three-point Jesus” would be appropriate here (since signals are the same in both sports). Not too many other larger than life symbols of divinity to be found in the hallowed “brackets of basketballdom”.

  • 11294136

    I base my final four on who in college admissions at the schools is more well-known by me. So my final four are Ohio State, Michigan, Purdue, and Butler. Champion game is Michigan and Butler. Butler wins because I have had more meals with Tom Weede than with Ted Spencer.

  • jbarman

    You’d have to be nuts not to go with teams that are confident enough to use first names. That means George (Mason, Town), Georgia, Duke, Xavier, Tex (as, as A+M), Buck (nell), Van (derbilt), Rich (mond), Louis (Ville), Flo (rida, rida State), Brigham (Young), Marq (uette) and Ari (zona) will go deep this year.

  • sand6432

    Penn State because everyone knows that the sky is blue and clouds are white because God went to Penn State.

  • nyhist

    I choose those colleges from which my colleagues did NOT receive PhDs. . .because they always put them on their brackets & I can’t win the dept pool unless those schools lose.

  • pokerphd

    I follow my 10-year-old son’s lead (somewhat successfully in recent years) and start by printing out a full color mascot bracket http://img.slate.com/media/47/110313_SNUT_mascotsBracket.pdf ; then, we choose winners based upon %age of primary colors in the competing teams’ mascot logo art. Looks like a very promising tournament for the Jayhawks!

  • 22266017

    Hello… don’t forget my KEN(tucky) Wildcats!!!

  • lbothwell3

    Difficult: Since it is all about match-ups, I used the tried and true method of which mascot wins. Methodological disclosure: weapons rule; toss-ups go to higher seed; scare-factor considered.

    East: Most difficult with all of the “big cat” matchups (tigers, wildcats, etc.). Also the most non-scary matchup: an Orange and a Tree (Syracuse and Indiana State). Winner: Xavier Musketeers who, since they wield sabers, defeat Golden Eagles, Orangemen, Bulldogs and Tigers

    West: Duke. This is simple, since the Devil (blue or otherwise) is both scary and uses supernatural powers.

    Southwest: Richmond. The Spiders bite their way to the final four, defeating two Native American Tribes in the Illini and Seminoles (who sleep on the ground, and thus are susceptible to crawly things, duh).

    Southeast: Michigan State. Have you seen “300″? Nuff said.

    Final: MSU (Spartans aren’t afraid of Spiders…. and sleep standing up); versus Duke (the Devil afraid of Porthos and his boys? I think not)

    Champion: MSU. Spartans defeat Xerxes and his minions, and then take on the Blue Devils as a tuneup for the next battle.

    The key here is that using this methodology, MSU wins each time it enters the tournament. The only way to defeat them is for some school (e.g. MIT) renaming itself as the MIT Jedi. It is well known that if a Sith cannot defeat a Master Jedi, then what chance do a collection of Spartans have?

  • astoriakatie

    I’m going with UConn to win it all, purely for the pun factor. Because U Conn’t beat them!

  • josgirl13

    Please get back to me if you ever show any interest in the Women’s NCAA Tournament.

  • taraw

    This is alarming because it is not entirely accurate:
     
    **
    This is why some counselors here said they promptly tell students (especially those who worry about their readiness for college) that grade-point averages from community colleges won’t follow them to four-year institutions.
    “We like to call it a clean slate,” Mr. Flagel said. “We say to them, ‘Look, it’s a safety net for you.’”
     **

    Some four-year colleges do include coursework from other institutions in the cumulative GPA. Grades earned at community college may also come into play when applying for further studies, depending on the institution’s GPA calculation and review policy. In our review of potential graduate students, we make it very clear to applicants that the entire educational history will be taken into consideration, including any significant studies completed at community colleges. The phrase “clean slate” is very misleading because you can’t simply erase pieces of your educational history. Students should be aware that universities may follow their own policies in the area of GPA calculation, and sometimes that means including calculations from community college coursework.

  • lkaplan

    Thank you for writting this article. I too, was a tranfser student who right out of high school went to a community college and received my A.A. degree. It was the best decision I made! I was too young for college and not ready for a big institution. When I was done with my AA in two years, I graduated and transfered to a four year institution. I felt like I was better prepared for college. Although it did take some getting used to a bigger institution.=) Now I have my Masters in College Student Affairs and I am ready to embark on my higher education career.

  • tbanksle

    I am also concerned about the “grade-point averages from community colleges won’t follow them to four year institutions” and “clean slate” information especially as it relates to financial aid and the SAP policy which takes into account all collegiate work attempted when calculating ratios for eligibility.

    I do agree that a stigma is attached to attending community colleges; however it will take greater coordination between community college admission staff and high school counselor to partner to present the “true” upside of attending community colleges which may start with cost and ease of transferability of coursework to partnering 4-year institutions.

  • surpassingreach

    I think the “clean slate” comment relates to a clean slate from their High School educational history. University admissions only consider CC transfer educational history, not high school educational history.  I don’t think the author meant to say clean slate from CC to the university.

  • http://twitter.com/renaissance14u Harlan Schottenstein

    We live in a competitive world where being number 1 is what is important, higher education around the world exists in a diverse environment. Is it more important to be number 1 among all or to reflect expertise in a world of diversity and to strive for excellence?

  • http://twitter.com/harejulie Julie Hare

    Ben Wildavsky nails some important issues on the U-Multirank project. 

  • jeffcason

    The devil is indeed in the details, as this article notes.  Another detail to address is how to find appropriately trained international inclined faculty and staff, ones who will think through all the issues brought up here (and many more) in a systematic way.  Middlebury College and its graduate school, the Monterey Institute for International Studies, are in the process of designing a new MA program in International Education Management, which should help to train practitioners who would be based both in the U.S. and abroad, to fill these roles.

  • 609zr

    Dear David:  Nice international textbook article.  It is a fantasy of overseas academia without the corruption, failure to comply with contracts, lack of written policies, religious issues, murder, the HRM department.  Even in America, the personnel department is usually staffed with a local graduate who never studied business least of all international labor law. 

    In our quest to give the world a Western education, which is highly overrated, we put profits above life.  Mohamed Al-Majed, a Qatari student studying English in East Sussex was murdered.  The police are calling it “racially motivated.”  For every pro study abroad article the CHE chooses to publish, I can give you multiple examples of arrested, tortured, incarcerated and murdered students and faculty.  Forced diversity is a failure.  Please stop the propaganda.

    My condolences to Mr. Al-Majed’s family and friends.

  • http://twitter.com/DrSimonEvans Simon Evans

    Chronicle: The Internationalization Devil Can Be in the Staffing Details — indeed! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1037567406 Susan Kelly

    Interesting article. As a former teacher for two Massachusetts colleges with new programs in China, I advise institutions to plan before jumping into a program. Yes, your adjuncts may not get insurance in the US, but they also can get insurance through a spouse or a job at Starbucks (they shouldn’t have to but that’s another issue).

    Also, employers shouldn’t just use their extra airline miles to buy the professor’s airline tickets as mine did, thus leaving me stranded for a week in China in January when I had to change my schedule.

    Yes, this report is free, but since you’re branching out in order to make money, expect to invest in HR expertise as government agencies and corporations do to avoid law suits or problems with healthcare that differ from you local operations.

    A word to the wise, I don’t recommend working for a school that’s just launching an overseas program unless you’re a full time employee that they view as valuable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1037567406 Susan Kelly

    I just read one of the comments stating that corporations do err horribly in international staffing. That’s no doubt true. But at least when I worked in the private sector there was a person whose job was to oversee HR concerns for expats. Neither of the Mass. colleges had that. In fact when they big wigs from New England would visit China, they wouldn’t bother spending more than 15 minutes with the US teachers in China to see how the program was going. Their main concern was making more money.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1037567406 Susan Kelly

    Bravo for Middlebury and Monterey Institute for Int’l Studies. Yet, I’ve seen these international partnerships and I doubt most US schools would be willing to properly pay a professional.

  • bcbailey64

    When I started teaching English in Japan 20 years ago, I was warned of the “midnight run.” This term described the common occurrence of teachers new to Japan, literally packing up in the middle of the night and catching the next flight back to their country of origin because they couldn’t handle the culture shock. When staffing for overseas positions, I would seek out people with the following qualities – open-mindedness, adaptability, flexibility, naturally curious, resilient, friendly, confident but not arrogant – professional experience would rank further down the list – you can always train someone but it’s much more difficult to change their character….and it’s mostly about their character.

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