A new report out today is raising yet more concern over plans to build in Kansas a state-of-the-art federal research center for investigating hazardous animal diseases that can be passed to human beings. The report, by the National Research Council, lists a series of doubts about the proposed project, near Manhattan, Kan., including the close proximity of the Kansas State University football stadium, though many of the objections identify risks inherent in such an undertaking and the report stops short of rejecting the actual location.
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49 Responses to Worries Grow Over Hazardous-Disease Lab in Kansas
mtboots - November 15, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Put it on a space station.
rmelton5 - November 15, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Wildcats have always been hazardous, particularly to Jayhawks.
cu_alum - November 15, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I wonder if the NRC has evaluated the lab B.U. built in a dense Boston neighborhood.
yorklibrary - November 16, 2010 at 7:25 am
The Feds should of just modernized the facility they’ve had for past 50+years on Plumb Island.
bwogilvie - March 8, 2011 at 5:07 pm
A followup to the third: The hot dog vendor gives the Buddhist a hot dog, and the Buddhist hands him a $20 bill. After a few minutes, the Buddhist asks, “Where’s my change?” The vendor replies, “Change comes from within.”
ruritania - March 8, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Maxfield Parrish walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Why so blue?”
El Greco walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”
M.C. Escher walks into a bar, and M.C Escher walks into a bar, and M.C. Escher walks into a bar, and M.C Escher walks into a bar, and M.C. Escher walks into a bar, and M.C Escher walks into a bar….
sand6432 - March 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm
: “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” —Groucho Marx
23skidoo - March 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
12105442 - March 8, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Vedi, Veni, Velcro
I came, I saw, I stuck around
23skidoo - March 8, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Dear 12105442: “Veni” and “Vidi” (in that order) should have been your first two words.
11182967 - March 8, 2011 at 5:53 pm
A guy asks Boston cabbie, “Where can I get scrod?” The cabbie says, “I’ve been asked that question dozens of times, but that’s the first time ever in the pluperfect subjunctive.”
jbarman - March 8, 2011 at 5:55 pm
How do you keep a substandard academician in suspense?
11144703 - March 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm
A statistician, a physicist, and a biologist were asked, “If you had 10,000 monkeys writing nonstop on 10,000 parchments, would they write the Koran?”
The statistician said, “The chance is almost impossible.”
The physicist said, “Given infinite time, they eventually will write the Koran.”
The biologist said, “Ah, but one already did.”
[I adapted the joke since I read a number of intellectual jokes concerning religion on various sites, but every single one slammed Christianity and I wanted to add some diversity and multiculturalism. However, does this joke now qualify as hate speech?]
11223435 - March 8, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Monday morning, Professor Brown asks to see Provost Perfect. The Provost’s secretary, sobbing, says “We’ve just learned that the Provost died yesterday….”
Tuesday morning, Prof Brown appears again and asks to see Provost Perfect. The secretary to the late Provost seems rather shocked, but manages to say, professionally, “I’m sorry, Professor Brown, but as I think I told you yesterday, Provost Perfect died Sunday.”
Wednesday, same time, Brown comes in to ask to see Provost Perfect. This time the provost’s secretary cannot contain herself and yells, “I’ve told you that the Provost is dead!!! Why are you here again?”
With a delighted little self-hug, Brown replies, “I know he’s dead…but I just love to hear you say it.”
milner - March 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm
There are 10 types of people, those who get binary and those who don’t.
wilkenslibrary - March 8, 2011 at 9:46 pm
yes. let’s see if I understand this — you couldn’t stand to write “one already did” meaning a monkey wrote the Bible?
K. S. Manning, PhD - March 9, 2011 at 8:30 am
“Flux” the past tense of “flix”: flix, flex, flux.
mkruege - March 9, 2011 at 8:55 am
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don’t.
11191774 - March 9, 2011 at 9:32 am
Three economists are hunting deer. They see one in the clearing. The first shoots, but his arrow misses by ten yards to the left. The second shoots but misses ten yards to the right. The third says, “Yippee! We got it!”
11191774 - March 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
Heisenberg gets pulled over by a policeman. The cop asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know where I was.”
22058726 - March 9, 2011 at 9:46 am
Coffee shop clerk hands Descartes a cup of coffee and asks, “Do you want cream with that?” Descartes says, “I think not” and disappeared.
jgallagheraiaonline - March 9, 2011 at 10:15 am
Time flies when you’re having fun, unless you’re a frog, then time’s fun when you’re having flies.
blesch - March 9, 2011 at 10:38 am
Dr. Manning,
Do you mean “past participle”, or did I not get it?
trendisnotdestiny - March 9, 2011 at 10:49 am
Why just invite Dick Cheney and Bob Knight… they will shoot that economist… and isn’t that what we need more of these days?
bermane - March 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
As the tragic war wended its red way toward its end on the fields of France, a representative of the ruling government in Great Britain traveled to one of those blessedly remote and peaceful places where there was distance enough from the grinding guns for its victims to find rest and perhaps recovery.
He arrived at the “Soldiers’ Rest Home” and was being shown around by a very officious captain who was second in command. They visited the various wards to see how the care in each place measured up and that the poor war wounded were receiving the treatment they deserved. In the amputee ward they stopped and he spoke to a number of young men whose lives were now changed forever, but, their eyes glittering with hope, they spoke to him of what the government would do to help them lead normal lives. In the ward where they were piecing together the faces of the wounded, he managed not to look away but laughed with the men who had never seen their hideous wounds, and in the ward with the shell-shocked, he could only stand and listen to the ravings of the soldiers whose soundness of mind had been destroyed by the incessant bombs.
Finally, with great solemnity and gestures of respect, he was conducted into a bright ward where there seemed to be nothing at all wrong with the men. He was relieved and he went up to one of them and asked, “Tell me about yourself,”
and the man said:
“Ha! Whare ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly,
I canna say but ye strut rarely
Owre gauze and lace,
Tho’ faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.”
He was knocked back a pace or two because the man was obviously of Cockney extraction from the heart of old London.
He went to another, a swarthy Welshman:
“Swith! in some beggar’s hauffet squattle:
There you may creep, and sprawl, and spr
Wi’ ither kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Whare horn nor bane ne’er daur unsettle
Your thick plantations.”
Again, amazed, and looking around for some explanation, he went to the next bed, this time an Indian from out in the Empire, a man still wearing his turban:
“O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us,
An’ foolish notion:
What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us,
An’ ev’n devotion!”
At last, he could take no more, and with the room spinning around him, he staggered over to his host and guide, and said, almost weeping, “Tell me, oh, you have to tell me: what’s wrong with these men? What is the name of this ward?”
The captain shook his head, sighed and said: “Serious Burns.”
22058726 - March 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Have to say my favorite so far is the Boston cabbie.
11182967 - March 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
During the French Revolution three men await the guillotine, a priest, a thief, and an engineer.
As the priest prepares to lay down his head he is asked, “Do you want to lie face down or face up?” He replies, “All of my life I have looked toward heaven; I will do so now.” He lies, face up. The blade drops–and stops a centimetre from his neck. “Ah,” the people shout, “It is a miracle. Spare him!” and he is spared.
Now it is the thief’s turn. Asked the same question he thinks, it worked for the priest . . . so he, too, lies down face up. Again the blade descends, and again stops a mere centimetre from the neck of thief. And once again the people cry out, “It is a miracle. Spare him!” And he, too is spared.
Finally, the engineer. Though he is an atheist and struck by the illogic of what he has seen, the moment is dire. So he lies down face up as well. Just as the blade is to be released he cries out, “Wait! I see the problem!”
tmillen - March 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
A masochist and a sadist are walking down the street together.
The masochist says, “Hit me! Hit me!”
The sadist sneers and says, “Nooooooooooo.”
11308938 - March 9, 2011 at 11:51 am
Woody Allen
drjatcu - March 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
Message Left on a Bathroom Stall:
Don’t Wait For Me
Signed: Godot
mrmi4674 - March 9, 2011 at 12:36 pm
What’s red and has no mass?
Zero apples.
oldphyrte - March 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Veni, Vedi, Visa
I came, I saw, I shopped
green_hornist - March 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm
This one a true story from my Anglo-Saxon Professor, Herb Merritt:
On sabbatical at a British university, and dining with colleagues, one of the faculty wives turned to Herb’s wife and asked, “and where did you get your degree, my dear?”
She replied, “oh, I just picked it up by osmosis.”
The first wife turned to another and said, “I believe that’s a small college in the Middle West.”
oldphyrte - March 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm
How does a dyslexic, existential, insomniac spend the evening?
Lies awake wondering if there is a dog.
11182967 - March 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Which reminds me–you’re familiar with MADD and SADD. What’s DAM? Mothers Against Dyslexia. Also, how can you tell an extroverted mathematician? He looks at your shoes when he’s talking.
mbelvadi - March 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm
An astronomer, biologist, an engineer and a mathematician were crossing the border into Scotland from England on a train when they saw a field with a black sheep in it.
The astronomer said, “Look–all sheep on Earth are black.”
The biologist said, “Look, in Scotland the sheep are black.”
The engineer replied, “No, in Scotland some of the sheep are black.”
The mathematician rolled his eyes to heaven and said, very patiently, “In Scotland, there exists at least one field, in which there is at least one sheep which is black on at least one side.”
sberrien - March 9, 2011 at 4:42 pm
What do you get when you cross a don and a deconstructionist?
He makes you an offer you can’t understand.
11182967 - March 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm
A group of literature professors were strolling down the street discussing odd group nouns when they passed several ladies of the evening. “And what group noun,” one asked, “would apply to these ladies?”
“A jam of tarts?” ventured one professor.
“A flourish of strumpets?” queried another.
“An essay of trollops,” suggested the third.
But the fourth professor effectively ended the speculation with “Gentlemen, an anthology of pros.”
gavin_moodie - March 9, 2011 at 6:59 pm
A lion escaped from the zoo and was at large for month. When it was finally captured and returned to its cage its cage-mate asked: “How did you manage to stay alive for a whole month?”
“It was easy,” said the lion, “everyday I went to the university and ate a professor.”
“How did they catch you?” asked the cage-mate.
“One day I made a mistake and ate the lady who brings the tea.”
cdjunkjunk - March 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Q: How many surrealists does it take to paint a lightbulb?
A: A fish.
townsend_harris - March 10, 2011 at 11:20 am
There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot.
stevekahrs - March 10, 2011 at 1:44 pm
I think it was Woody Allen who claimed to have flunked his metaphysics final because he cheated … he looked into the soul of the student sitting next to him.
Then you have optimists who insist the glass is half full, pessimists who insist the glass is half empty, and … engineers who point out you simply have the wrong size glass.
Or, there is the story about the priest, the engineer, and the economist who are the three survivors from a ship wreck, washed ashore on a deserted island, with a case of canned food and plenty of fresh bottled water. They know if they can get the food cans open, they will survive long enough to be found and rescued. They have no can opener. So, they turn first to the engineer to find a way to open the cans. He tries mightily, but fails. They turn to the priest to open the cans. He prays mightily, but fails. In desperation, they turn to the economist to open the cans. He begins: “Assume you have a can opener … “
gavin_moodie - March 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm
The fellows at an Oxford college were debating what to do with all their money. The consensus was to buy land, since ‘for the past thousand years, land has proven to be a very wise investment for the college.’
The crusty old patriarch piped in, ‘True, but the past thousand years have been atypical.’
11144703 - March 11, 2011 at 1:25 am
No. I’m simply undermining academic hierarchies by celebrating transgressivity.
rch1952 - March 13, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I thought it was Mark Twain.
rch1952 - March 13, 2011 at 6:01 pm
It’s an oldie but goodie. My father liked to repeat it–often.
rch1952 - March 13, 2011 at 6:07 pm
(courtesy of the late William Safire, who lifted it from Lord knows where)):
Q: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A: I don’t know and I dont’ care!
satris - March 18, 2011 at 2:38 pm
After Ancient Philosophy class, a student asks a professor, “Why did the Pre-Socratics write fragments?” The professor thinks for a minute and replies “Because they were influenced by the architects of the times, who built all those ruins.”
After Modern Philosophy class, a student asks a professor, who had just lectured on Cartesian Doubt and the Problem of Other Minds, “So, Professor, ARE there other minds?” The professor shakes his head and thinks for a minute; then he says, “Sometimes, I wonder …”
richardtaborgreene - June 13, 2011 at 10:54 am
The Australians at the policy level are completely wrong. They have a central source of evaluations and of funding, with tiny peripheries involved. This destroys creativity–if you propose X and it is at first not understood and rejected, you have nowhere else to try. Plural competing sources of evaluation and funding ALWAYS have outperformed in both short term and long term measures single central sources. I cannot understand how the Australians could have gotten this so completely totalitarianly screwed up. They must have some bad intuitions or something down there to mislead them so badly. Americans too, though they started with a real preference for plural competing sources of evaluation and funding have more and more gravitated to old snobby central single sources—undoing all that was vibrant in the USA of past eras. It is sad to see single central things appealed to—the dictators dream. It comes perhaps from little minds.