But modesty in women is a-okay.
Or so says a new study from the journal Psychology of Men & Masculinity. First, researchers videotaped two male and two female graduate students answering job-interview questions like “What are your technical skills?” and “What kind of salary do you expect?” Their answers were scripted and identical. So, for instance, when asked about their salary expectations, they all said “Well, if I should be lucky enough to get the position, I’m sure you’d offer me a fair wage.”
Reasonable enough, but not exactly assertive.
Each of the participants in the study—232 undergraduates—were randomly shown one of the scripted, videotaped interviews and asked to rate the fake applicant on a number of qualities, including whether they liked the person. The male applicants were rated as less likable than the female applicants, even though they gave the same answers to the questions. Interestingly, the modest men were disliked by women and by other men. Everybody hates them.
So why would the same answers coming from men be deemed less acceptable?
From the paper:
Changes in gender roles that have afforded women more financial independence have not yielded relaxed demands for men. That is, men are still required to uphold masculine ideals that require chronic exhibitions of strength while avoiding signs of weakness.
So that’s the bad news for modest men. But guess what, women? When you act assertive you’re deemed deficient in social skills, according to an earlier paper by the same researchers. What’s more, employers were less likely to hire those assertive (or “agentic,” as the researchers call them) women even if they were seen as competent.
Is the lesson here that everyone should behave according to gender stereotypes lest they offend potential employers/colleagues/passers-by? Let’s say no just because that’s a depressing conclusion. Instead maybe the takeaway is that men and women have to be aware of those expectations and attempt to walk a line between being true to themselves and conforming to society’s expectations.
At least, that’s my modest assertion.
(The authors of the paper, titled “When Men Break the Gender Rules: Status Incongruity and Backlash Against Modest Men,” are Julie E. Phelan, Corinne A. Moss-Racusin, and Laurie A. Rudman. While that paper is not online, their paper on assertive women can be found here.)
11 Responses to Nobody Likes a Modest Man
12052592 - May 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm
“Nice guys finish last”!
your_rights - May 21, 2010 at 9:01 am
I conducted a very similar research study as an undergraduate in the 60′s. It seems odd that 50 years later so called researchers with Ph.Ds can’t out perform an undergraduate or think of a new hypothesis.
rick1952 - May 21, 2010 at 10:17 am
Well, “your-rights” perhaps the appropriate response is from Yogi Berra, the great Yankees catcher: it’s deja vu all over again. (As an undergrad from the 60′s, I expect you are familiar with Yogi Berra. :) )Or, perhaps the proper statement is: the more things change, the more they stay the same.When all is said and done, it is remarkable how durable societal stereotypes are, whether we consider gender roles, race, socio-economic status, etc. Given all the societal change the baby boom generations is supposed to have caused, it does seem ironic that society still seems to cling to the stereotypes described.I will look forward to finding some time to read their research before I come to any conclusion about its originality or utility.
cs3377 - May 21, 2010 at 11:21 am
The term “assertive” needs to be operationalized.
vatican - May 21, 2010 at 12:33 pm
This study is interesting. The results go again the stream of studies in leadership, which argue that humility is a virtue. After all no one likes an arrogant leader.
cwanyonyi - May 21, 2010 at 12:47 pm
For African Americans, the oposite is true. Instead of being assertive, black males are discribed as being arrogant. African American females are known to be assertive. This is one explanation of the high unemployment rate among African Americans.
714826 - May 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm
The findings of this study are just about as likely to generalize to the broader population as a study in which 4 undergraduates, 2 male and 2 female, judged scripted, videotaped interviews between 232 different pairs of graduate students. Everyone would immediately see the fallacy of that: “N=4 !!” But a trained inability to appreciate the need to sample “stimulus” objects as well as “subjects” or “participants” continues to yield a sustained series of fragile and non-cumulative findings in the social and behavioral sciences. Areas exist where scientists do appreciate this of course: those studying language have long learned the need to sample the lexicon to obtain their stimuli, and many scientists of judgment have learned the importance of sampling the judgment ecology (as these authors should have done). The papers come along more slowly, but the findings are more likely to last, and be cumulative, rather than fashionable.
arrive2__net - May 22, 2010 at 3:35 am
The reaction of interviewers to these kinds of responses and traits are likely to vary depending on the characteristics of the interviewers, the job, etc. For example, female police officer candidates or journalist candidates might benefit more from being assertive than nanny or waitresses candidates. It is tough to say how much similarity there is between the general reactions of undergrads, and those of job interviewers in the context of a specific set of job expectations and organizational climate. Perhaps the results are some kind of barometer of the social norms in the subject’s generation, or maybe just in their region … or their college. Bernard SchusterArrive2.net
22089159 - May 22, 2010 at 3:54 pm
I’d like to see the “assertive” answer.
ddwalker - May 24, 2010 at 5:40 pm
When I read the answer, “Well, if I should be lucky enough to get the position, I’m sure you’d offer me a fair wage,” I didn’t think “modest.” I thought brown-nosing, stupid, and unprepared.
lark5 - May 25, 2010 at 6:02 pm
I was wondering if the male actors were uncomfortable with their scripted responses, skewing the perceptions of the student evaluators. I also wondered if people in actual hiring positions would have the same responses as the undergraduate evaluators.