Stupid Application Tricks

As a friend of mine started his job search, he joked that he was going to have a glossy 8×10 headshot made and scrawl across the front of it: “Like me? Call me!”

He was poking fun at a classmate who was, um, a “little” on the narcissistic side, but he was also complaining that there was no way to differentiate his résumé from the others that would be received by prospective employers.

On my side of the search table, I can understand this complaint. In our efforts at leveling the playing field, we have forced everyone into a Procrustean bed that saps the personality out of applications. The only place where uniqueness truly stands out is in the cover letter, and even that is often a boilerplate product aimed at covering as many openings at as many institutions as possible.

In the business world, I’ve heard anecdotes of applicants who have included strange things in their CV packets, including DVD versions of résumés (vanity again!) and even gift cards to Starbucks (bribes!) to “help the search committee deliberate more comfortably.”

I guess the only quirky things I’ve seen personally are sticks of Big Red gum (intended to leave a sweet taste in our mouths? An insult to our personal hygiene?), weird borders and letterhead (designed to set the packet apart visually?), and, my favorite: horribly reproduced (faked?) letters of support from celebrities or intellectual superstars (from a best-selling novelist: “Dr. Fabulous is the best young teacher I’ve ever seen!”).

On some level, attempts at differentiation imply that search committees do not look at every single application packet. I can honestly say, though, that each search I’ve worked has looked at every single application with due consideration. Tricks and quirks are unnecessary distractions. I can, however, sympathize with the anxiety that fuels them.

Will any applicants admit to having bad ideas about how to set your packets apart?

How about search-committee members: Have you seen any unusual attempts at differentiation? Better yet, have any of them actually worked?