Perhaps you saw the recent piece in The Chronicle about what presidents are thinking during commencement.
Since I have to read names of graduates as a part of my duties as dean, I spend the entire time thinking about the pronunciation charts that students have provided me for their names. After I’m done with that task, I’m pretty much a blank slate for the remainder of the ceremony. I’m just ready for the arrival of summer.
I can’t help but ask: what do faculty members think while they’re sitting through commencement ceremonies?
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26 Responses to Graduation Thoughts
cerebellum - May 25, 2010 at 4:16 pm
As a dean, I sit in the front row, just below the stage where the students are receiving their diplomas. I used to sit there and scrupulously read the program, taking great interest in the most popular names among each group of graduates. This past year, however, faculty and administrators no longer received copies of the full program; just an order of events, so my search for the most popular names was blocked. Now, I am reduced to that other popular graduation game, shoe-watching. (Perfect when you are sitting in front of the stage and shoes are at eye-height.) I’ve heard that this is popular among my colleagues, as well.
nuenglish - May 25, 2010 at 4:32 pm
I pray. Yes, literally, (silently) repeat prayers. Generally bring a set of prayer beads which can be discreetly palmed. Om mane padme hum.
jbarman - May 25, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Having emceed and/or sat through perhaps 40 graduation ceremonies, I spend a lot of time being concerned with whether or not someone will screw up the protocol (walk the wrong way to the stage, hit a wrong note, unplug the mike, have a tassel waving in front of the valedictorian’s face during his/her face).
jbarman - May 25, 2010 at 4:34 pm
That last line should say “during his/her speech”. Talk about screwing up the protocol!
22191530 - May 25, 2010 at 4:41 pm
At another institution, many of the faculty ensconced reading material in the sleeve of their robes.
jharton - May 25, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Small books of sudoku. Otherwise,I think of ways of hurrying up graduations, like temporarily renaming each student “next.” Did I mention that I didn’t go to my graduations?
7738373863 - May 25, 2010 at 6:08 pm
I used to prepare phonetic pronunciation cribs for the provost, whose job it was to read the names of those receiving doctorates. Given the strong international presence in our doctoral programs, and given the provost’s shocking lack of erudition–not surprising, given the professionally driven, practice oriented nature of my university–even the cribs could only do so much. During commencement, I prepared myself for the ensuing onomasticide (name murder) and thought of a frosty microbrew for each name thus flubbed.
22209437 - May 25, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Would someone tell me when (in the last umpteen years) that college/university graduations became popular again? I did line up with the rest of my fellow baccalaureate candidates only to be pulled out at the last minute to play for the processional. The organist didn’t show up! I must admit… no master’s graduation, no Ph.D. ceremony…should I feel deprived? As a former dean, I have been to many graduations over the years. I am interested in knowing when the tide turned to pomp and circumstance again. Does anyone have the answer?
annon1234 - May 26, 2010 at 7:28 am
I sit there gritting my teeth. I never went to any of mine except BA and even then only to the department part since that is where they handed out the diplomas and my parents wouldn’t pick me up from the university if I didn’t go to at least something. They are boring, way too long, hot and generally unpleasant. At one place I worked I ordered the master’s robe instead of the PhD one (I now own a PhD one which I have sewn pockets on the inside of the sleeves) because you can fill the thing hanging off the sleeve of the masters one with M&M’s and if you picked the seam open a bit squeeze them out one by one. Another PhD tenured faculty did the same (only his was purchased since he modified it) and filled up his with booze, books, stuff to hand up and down the faculty rows. I mean, heck, isn’t that what the faculty used the sleeves of these things for to begin with back in the stone age when these things were actually daily wear- to carry around food, etc.?I noticed many i-pods amongst the faculty at the last one, lots of texting back and forth, being on the internet (hey – this is only just returns for what goes on in the classroom despite having a reputation of confiscating phones being used during class – right?)…anything to pass the time as they get deadly. At times like this I wished I worked at a small, small school and not a state school. Sitting through 4 hours of calling names is beyond belief and torture. Each year I plot how I can get out of going. But alas, like my undergrads and master’s students, only so many grandparents can die (hey what if I really did have 10 step parents – think of the number of grandparents just waiting in the wings for my next dead relative need)…
snwiedmann - May 26, 2010 at 9:07 am
In reply to 22209437: Our graduates don’t just “walk” at graduation — they receive their actual diplomas. For many of our graduates, it is the first time someone in their family graduated from collete. I, in contrast, did not attend my BA graduation; I knew it would be only the first of three (thinking positively, you see). Do you think, perhaps, the students think they will get more and/or better graduation presents if they attend a ceremony they can invite relatives to see?
formerprof05 - May 26, 2010 at 9:41 am
I guess I’m the nerd here. As AVP, I emceed at several commencements and, as a faculty member, attended many more. When I was merely a spectator, I tried to remember the several graduates I’d had in class and ponder, as they walked across the stage, how they turned out. In many cases, I could recall students’ struggles with work, family, and other challenges. This was especially true of older students who often displayed a great deal of grit in completing their degrees. I thought those students deserved a standing ovation, even if they squeaked by with a “C” average.I also often thought about the families, many of whom I had come to know, who had supported their loved ones through some difficult times. Many were proud that someone in their family had at last graduated from college. Spouses and children were often relieved and happy that their husband/wife or mother/father had finally written that last paper.Yes, commencements are incredibly boring for those of us who sit through them every year. But they are not as boring, I think, for the graduates and especially their families and friends. Since the students and their families pay our salaries, the least we can do is give them a good show.
11152886 - May 26, 2010 at 11:30 am
At the private liberal arts college I taught successfully for 42 years, we were required to attend four ceremonial functions per year in our academic regalia. I enjoyed all these ceremonies: Opening Convocation (for incoming students), Honors Awards in May, Baccalaureate and Commencement at the end of the academic year. In the latter years of my employment, the Baccalaureate ceremony was not as well attended, apparently because it was deemed religious in nature, which was not the case, but this was used as an excuse by those faculty who did not wish to participate. These ceremonial events were well attended by students and their families. I felt fortunate to have worked in a college where these kinds of ceremonies honoring students, with faculty in attendance dressed in academic regalia, were part of the fabric of the institution. I believe it demonstrated support, respect and regard for students and their accomplishments. I was never bored.
kronicul - May 26, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I too read names for graduation, in the spring semester three different ceremonies. Graduation is an exciting time for the students and families and I like to think about those students that I know and what they will be doing next. since we are supposedly at the university to help create educated persons, its seems to me that we would all feel very good about graduation regardless of the number in which we have participated. Each one is unique for each student out there. We don’t want students texting, reading non-related materials, drinking, etc. in class, why do we think it is appropriate for us to do this in a formal academic ceremony?
crankycat - May 26, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Professional school investiture, endless repetitive speeches by Deans and the University President, a long trail of justifiably ebullient graduates, individually hooded … I’m thinking about how many more times that particular speech can be recycled and how long it’s going to be before I can get out of the regalia and the pinchy shoes.
akprof - May 26, 2010 at 5:16 pm
One year I put headphones underneath my cap and my Walkman inside my gown – during the endless line of graduates I earned two CE credits, which helped me maintain my nursing license during the next relicensure period! Much more productive than just watching. The University President told me he was jealous!
dmaratto - May 26, 2010 at 5:48 pm
I’m thinking of how I can make it to the cookies and juice table before everyone else
your_rights - May 27, 2010 at 10:59 am
Thanks for all the stories. I am glad to know others feel the same way. I enjoy the shoe parade too. I didn’t know anyone else watched the shoes. Like many of you, I did NOT attend any of my three graduations. I thought I had been tortured enough already. Not to be a snob, but whats the big deal? You graduated from college–so what? What matters are the contributions we make to the world within which we live with or without a college education.
annon1234 - May 27, 2010 at 11:24 am
#17 – you are right. The degree is not who we are, it is what we did. Who we are is what we DO with what we did. Now if some people with PhD’s would only remember that… LOLTo me the reception afterwards, where students want to introduce their parents to certain faculty – that is worth going to (although I hate that too as they drag on too long). But graduation itself…not! All most of the students care about is that they get their degree and that a parent gets a photo. Most don’t give a hoot that the faculty are sitting there.
mmmhppc - May 27, 2010 at 11:42 am
I consider it an honor to attend commencement ceremonies throughout the year. Graduates and their families have much to celebrate and I am happy to be there to witness their accomplishment. Without the students, there is no need for a university. I am pleased that my university (Cleveland State University) makes the ceremony memorable for students and faculty.
philostitute - May 27, 2010 at 11:53 am
I too do mantras (short mala, no full prayer beads): gate, gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha. Other entertainment includes watching some of my former students who are obviously overjoyed which makes me feel good. I have to say that I am always glad to meet family/friends of my students at graduation and don’t mind going for that reason. It’s great to see the students finish, but the ceremonies are long and redundant for those who have to attend regularly. I always give thanks that we only have to attend one per year. Put in my time and out the door!
sunycanton - May 27, 2010 at 12:26 pm
What happens to faculty over time? I am so passionate, devoted, and dedicated to student success—that I am 100% “into” commencement. . I seek out the first row and aisle seat . . . not for me. . it is not about me. .. it is about my students achieving success, many are 1st generation college graduates. The look of pride on their faces–and the tears of joy shared with parents inspires me. . .and fuels my passion and drive to keep moving forward each academic year.MMcanton
jon_margerumleys - May 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I’m with sunycanton–I love commencement. :) A whole room filled to the brim with happy students and their happy families. I find it incredibly uplifting.Jon
vlghess - May 27, 2010 at 4:14 pm
It can get old, especially if you have to attend more than one in a day. And if you’re on the stage (I’m a dean, so I have to/get to announce the degrees of “my” school and shake hands) you can’t do crossword puzzles or visit (too much) with colleagues sitting nearby. However, I do remind myself that our population, at least, contains a significant proportion of 1st Gen students; neither they nor their parents have ever been to such a ceremony. My job is to be a small part of putting on a good show for those families and friends, and help celebrate with the grads–be it magna cum laude or magna cum miracle.I have a low boredom threshold, so it can get tough–but it’s worth it for their sakes.
gazdacastro2022 - May 28, 2010 at 8:20 am
As an honors graduate (BA), current graduate student, university staff member, and parent of two college students, I am stunned and disappointed by many of the comments made here. Because I just experienced commencement in a personal way, I am especially disturbed. I suppose I should say that I am now actually the parent of one college student since technically, one of my sons graduated two weeks ago, earning his degree along with a right of passage, believe me (like many students of his generation, he did not breeze through the college experience–there were several bumps along the way). No less than fifteen of us, ranging in age from 8 to 78, including his parents, brother, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, girlfriend and her parents, traveled from three, different states and filled an entire row to commemorate this milestone in his life. Of course, photos followed and my son specifically requested one with a particular professor whom he held (and will always hold) in high regard. We are certainly glad that he was on the platform that day in his full regalia. While I understand the boredom and tedium associated with attending numerous commencement exercises, it is an expectation of the job–professors and senior level administrators are normally required to participate in these ceremonies. If my 8-year old niece could sit through graduation quietly and politely, not quite understanding the significance behind the event, but smart enough to know it was a momentous occasion, then I think academic leaders and instructors who have chosen education as their field of endeavor, could at least, do the same. Just so you’ll know and as a few people have pointed out here, it was NOT a routine day for us.
mathmaven - May 28, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I’m staff, not faculty, so I’m expected to “volunteer” to work at commencement. This involves showing up at 8:00 and working as late as 6:00, depending on the assignment. Sitting on the stage or in the audience and getting to watch the graduates go by would be a joy.
panchodesastre - June 11, 2010 at 10:06 am
Every few years, as a “global” institution, we get international commencement speakers who can’t speak English (despite having graduated from American universities or colleges). They blather on in Spanish, so we get to hear the same platitudes twice. Entertainment comes while checking the accuracy of the translation. This year, the translation was on screen (so we were able to shave a good half hour from the normal length of these global ceremonies), but since the speaker deviated from his script, the translator was expected to pay attention and fill in the pieces missing from the big screen. When she said “millions” and the speaker had used a more modest number, he corrected her. Not too many “gotcha” moments, however. Mostly, time is spent in chit-chat with colleagues or wishing I had stuffed some cookies in the sleeves for consumption during the ceremony. Or wishing I worked at one of the campuses where the big-name “real” speakers were speaking.