Although I’ve enjoyed writing about higher education for many years, a press release I received this morning has persuaded me to make a career change. Life is funny like that.
The press release came from SeekingArrangement.com, a Web site that matches prospective sugar daddies (and sugar mommies) with, um, “sugar babies.” That is, men and women who seek “mutually beneficial relationships” can find each other there to “buy and sell first dates.” The New York Times, employing an especially touching metaphor, called the Web site “the best sugar daddy fishing hole.” (Yes, there’s more than one.)
What does this have to do with college admissions? Well, as you might have heard, paying for college isn’t easy, and students everywhere are finding creative ways to finance their educations. And some of them are taking the sugar-daddy route. (Now, now, don’t judge.)
How many students are doing this? And what colleges do they attend? I’m so glad you asked. The company’s press release included a top-20 list (what else?) of colleges with the largest number of prospective sugar babies who joined the Web site in 2011. New York University topped the list with 185 registrants, followed by the University of Georgia (155), and the University of Phoenix (144). This kind of institutional diversity’s lacking in other rankings of colleges.
Surely you’ll be surprised to know that registrants certified as “college sugar babies” receive three times as many inquiries from potential sugar daddies as nonstudent registrants do, according to the press release. Does this nation believe in higher education or what?
And so I’m off to build a new career. If there’s room for independent college counselors, then there’s got to be room for sugar-baby consultants, too. After all, there’s a limited supply of sugar daddies and sugar mommies out there, just as there’s a limited supply of seats in Harvard University’s freshman class. As the competition among students becomes more and more intense, prospective sugar babies will need to find ways to stand out in the eyes of their would-be benefactors. Looks alone, I’m afraid, just won’t cut it.
That’s where I’ll come in. As a consultant in this brave new world, I plan to offer low-cost seminars on an array of topics, like “7 Hot-But-Brainy Adjectives That Will Get Your Profile Noticed,” “How to Converse With Someone Twice Your Age,” and “Balancing Proust With Pampering.” I’ll be making money while doing some good. Man, it’s going to be sweet.