William Pannapacker’s sequel to “So You Want to Get a Ph.D. in the Humanities.”
William Pannapacker is an associate professor of English at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. He is a Chronicle columnist (under the pen name “Thomas H. Benton”).
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Carl Elliott
is a professor of bioethics at the University of Minnesota. His books include White Coat, Black Hat: Adventures on the Dark Side of Medicine.
Read Carl's posts
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David P. Barash
is an evolutionary biologist, professor of psychology at the University of Washington, and author of more than 30 books, most recently Homo mysterious: evolutionary mysteries of human nature.
Read David's posts
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Gina Barreca
is a professor of English and feminist theory at the University of Connecticut.
Read Gina's posts
Jacques Berlinerblau
is director of the Program for Jewish Civilization at Georgetown University.
Read Jacques's posts
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Kevin Carey
is the policy director for Education Sector, an independent think tank in Washington.
Read Kevin's posts
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Laurie Essig
teaches at Middlebury College and is the author of American Plastic: Boob Jobs, Credit Cards and Our Quest for Perfection.
Read Laurie's posts
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Marc Bousquet
is the author of How the University Works: Higher Education and the Low-Wage Nation.
Read Marc's posts
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Michael Ruse
directs the program in history and philosophy of science at Florida State University. His forthcoming book is Science and Spirituality: Making Room for Faith in the Age of Science.
Read Michael's posts
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Michele Goodwin
is a professor of law at the University of Minnesota with joint appointments at the university's medical and public-health schools.
Read Michele's posts
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Todd Gitlin
is a professor of journalism and sociology and chair of the communications program at Columbia University, and a prolific author whose most recent book is a novel, Undying.
Read Todd's posts
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24 Responses to ‘So You Want to Get a Ph.D. in the Humanities: 9 Years Later’
trendisnotdestiny - January 24, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Getting Admitted to a graduate program in the humanities:
1) Graduate School Application fee
2) Stamped envelop for personal statement
3) New suit for interview
4) Transportation
Cost: $250
The Masters/Doctoral Marathon
1) Tuition per credit hour ($300-400)
2) Transportation Expenses
3) Textbooks, Conferences and Office Supplies
4) Required organizational memberships, credentialing
5) Total # Parking tickets on campus
6) Time spent: writing for publications
Cost: $40,000/year
Transition from Graduate School to Workforce
1) Resumes, Curricula vitae, & Cover Letters
2) Job training & accrediting exams
3) Mock interviews, Position edits for new openings
4) Interviews, Networking Conferences & Power Interfacing
5) Time Spent Developing a back-up
Cost: $10,000
Tenure-track or Adjunct Hire
1) Research, Research, Service, Research, Teaching
2) Mentoring, Outreach, and Office Hours
3) Keeping track of everything you do for tenure promotion
4) Writing for publication and grants
5) Improving Teaching Delivery via Technology
Cost: Your Soul
Benefit: $55,000
Having this time reduced into 9 minutes: PRICELESS!
mrsdillie - January 24, 2011 at 3:54 pm
How timely! Cary Tennis over at Salon has a letter from a sad, sad PhD.
http://www.salon.com/life/since_you_asked/2011/01/23/academe/index.html
gholcomb - January 24, 2011 at 4:01 pm
The Xtranormal animation has a curious error, where the finished Ph.D. student asks the professor for a position as “teaching assistant” with his department. It would seem that the person who created this one is in an academic profession, and is in English, so you’d think this person know what a teaching assistant is.
v8573254 - January 24, 2011 at 5:13 pm
The best touch is the sound of that wind!
mubbs - January 25, 2011 at 12:00 am
“Shakespeare, Emerson, and ….Death” hahah, classic–and the “it’s going to be the biggest new batch of graduates yet!” which is actually something my school was bragging about as I left, the Director saying “it’s all about expanding as much as possible because that way we attract more Government funding,” hilarious and sad.
James from Selloutyoursoul.com
maryhunter - January 25, 2011 at 9:03 am
too true to be funny
c_rea - January 25, 2011 at 9:19 am
It is only funny if it is not your daughter. Anyone think about the immorality of the faculty who keep admitting students to a program, using students as indentured servants for 8 or 9 years, then sending them out to a hopeless job market? During this time, the faculty treat the students as a distraction to their world-shattering research on “Descartes, Hobbes, and Death.”
victoria12 - January 25, 2011 at 9:24 am
Never take out loans to go to graduate school (unless you are going to med school, and are certain to finish).
$0.02
vlmarr - January 25, 2011 at 9:35 am
gholcomb, the teaching assistant reference points to the ironic position the new PhD is facing now that she has completed the program: she is no longer qualified for employment as a TA because she is no longer a student of the program.
betterschools - January 25, 2011 at 11:04 am
I guess we all know that it can take a few years longer to secure a Ph.D. in Philosophy than an MD, DO, Psy.D., Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, Engineering, etc. I have gone all the way down both tracks (so would suggest that you skip the “he doesn’t understand the issues” dismissal). Advanced degrees in the sciences and applied sciences are validly intense and focused. When you’re finished, you think, “I can’t believe I got through all of that new knowledge, application, etc. in so little time.” Advanced degrees in the humanities have become something less than that. The standards for success are internally inconsistent (the same professor won’t judge the same work the same way in multiple iterations because the judgments arise less from consistently applied principled reasoning and more from interpersonal dynamics with students. The “programs” are crammed with ‘make work’ and students spend the majority of their time assisting the faculty in ways deemed financially useful to the department and institution. When you look back on the experience, you think, “I can’t believe they managed to make so little distinctive learning occupy so many years.” The system is morally and pedagogically corrupt. Repair your own house first.
torshi - January 25, 2011 at 12:02 pm
This is great! It’s clever and painful, with nice use of characters, dialogue, gestures, pauses, and background sound. And, of course, death.
missoularedhead - January 25, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I’d be a receptionist….if there were any receptionist jobs available.
dstorey - January 26, 2011 at 12:20 am
This is ripped from another and funnier cartoon on xtranormal