Older Profs Say They Shouldn’t Have to Work Long Hours Either!

In recent conversations with more than 36 faculty members, representing a three-fold increase over the number of respondents to The Collaborative on Academic Careers in Higher Education, the project run by Harvard’s Graduate School of Education based on interviews with 12 professors, it was determined that all academics born between 1919 and 1964 also believe they should not have to work more than 60 hours a week to be successful.

To be more precise, most believed that four hours a week was “really quite enough, when it comes right down to it” and several suggested that “there should also be free donuts.”

“Hell,” said Dr. G, a professor of history born in 1943, “Based on this newly released study of out Harvard, I could well have stopped doing a damned thing in 1977. I’d put in enough hours by then to have just skidded along these last 23 years. Wish I’d known as much before writing my last six books and advising all those Ph.D. students.”

Opening a bottle of gin, Sociology Professor H (b. 1954) declared herself to be “relieved yet disappointed” by the Harvard results. “You mean I didn’t have to lock my kids in the linen closet during their toddler years? Wish I’d known that.” Taking a healthy swig, H smiled and said “All three of ‘em are all in grad school anyway so that whole linen closet thing probably prepared them for working in the small-office environment that’ll be their lives from here on out. I have no regrets. You want some? I’m sure I have a paper cup here someplace.”

At a small gathering on Friday evening at the Dew Drop Inn and Did Drop Out Bar, Grill, and Used Book Emporium, a number of senior faculty members from the sciences at a mid-Atlantic college expressed surprise at the opinions and expectations expressed by the Harvard study. “What do they mean by ‘face time’?” asked a professor of biomedical sciences. “And where do they go when they leave their offices at 11 p.m.?” asked another. “Can we go there, too? Are there women?”

Having heard that one Gen X faculty member told interviewers “I want to be able to be good at my job but work 8:00 to 6:00 five days a week,” Dean Tut (born 1256) suggested that since her  ”16-year-old daughter has a nice job at Fashion Bug,” the junior faculty member who wanted a regular day-job apply there. “You get a discount, too” the Dean offered.

In order to place the Gen X professors’ comments in a more fully realized context, additional interviews were conducted with manicurists, dog-walkers, electricians, school nurses, servers at Denny’s, upholsterers, security guards, dish washers, stylists, physical therapists, non-physical therapists, caddies, and a croupier. Astonishingly, and as if connected by telepathy, they all whole-heartedly agreed with the Gen X professor who asserted “I want to succeed, but I don’t want to work 18 hours a day.”

Naturally, to academics. this comes as a real shock.