5. He treats everyone with what he sees as a sense of detached and razor-sharp irony, but the GWDLTWW himself becomes very sensitive when criticized or even observed closely (which amounts to the same thing). When he perceives a piece of criticism coming close to being sniffed out in public, the GWDLTWW becomes terribly earnest and looks at the perpetrator of the atrocity — otherwise known as the person disagreeing with him — like the mother who left him at day care before he was ready.
6. The GWDLTWW will paint a portrait of any woman who says anything aside from “What a brilliant idea,” and “Wow! I never would have thought of that” as man-hating, disenfranchised, lonely, probably alcoholic, bitter, spinster (or dominatrix, or ex-wife) with a second-rate mind. If you ask this man to discuss whether he has any issues with your work or management style, he will simply make light of it when talking to you, but will then add “paranoid” and “narcissistic” to your list of character traits.
9. GWDLTWW love to have debates, until they start to lose; then they have to get to a meeting or — in extreme states — get so vicious they start chewing the flesh off their wrists while howling insulting personal remarks. This happens when they feel envious or thwarted, which is often.
10. The GWDLTWW mentions his children constantly, as if to prove that he is a nurturing, scrap-booking, compassionate individuals who can basically understand everything that everywoman has ever gone through — after all, they know what women’s lives are like — who doesn’t? He covers his desk with pictures of his offspring as small children, even if those kids are now 26 and have graduated from business school.
11. When a man signs up to do a project with a woman, he automatically assumes that his role will be advisory and consultative. If there’s Xeroxing to be done, or lists to be compiled, he’d be grateful if she could get a copy of these to him by 4 p.m.
12. He never brings the muffins (although he might offer to pay for them and will certainly eat his share — or more — of them).
(adapted from It’s Not That I’m Bitter…)
