Maybe you think I’ve just been in the ladies’ room all this time, but that’s not the case. I haven’t been blogging as frequently as I had in the past for a couple of reasons: I’m still not confident about or comfortable with the new software and format of “Brainstorm” and miss the more lively, if insane, exchanges with readers who made up names and, in all probability, entire personalities — and I’ve had a complicated semester (both good and bad) this fall. But I’m knocking on wood and hoping that things will calm down and resume their routine.
Routine starts to look great when you’ve been away from it for a while. Ever notice that?
One of the more bizarre things I’ve done recently was to tape The Dr. Phil Show in Los Angeles last week. I’m not kidding. And it was actually fun. It would be very easy to be all academic and snobby about the experience but since I enjoyed myself thoroughly to pretend otherwise would be entirely disingenuous.
The topic was revenge. I wrote a book on the subject several years ago, which was translated into German, Spanish, and Japanese, and have been asked to comment in the press over the years about everything from children’s movies to Madoff’s mistress’s new tell-all memoir. The producers paired me with an attorney from New Jersey so that we could discuss the larger issues surrounding the very idea of revenge — and so that we could also respond to a Real Couple who were having what might be called “troubles.”
My favorite part of the show happened when we started to discuss the case of a woman who ran over her cheating husband — twice — in a parking lot. I mentioned that this might at first seem like a bad thing, until you heard the backstory and discovered he was coming out of a motel with his girlfriend after telling his wife, who’d just had twins, that he’s broken up with this girlfriend because the wife agreed to lose weight and have a boob job. Since these were the circumstances, I said, one understood that by running him over twice, the wife showed restraint, and that if they knew the story, other women in the parking lot would have lined up to run over the guy, too, just on principle.
The women in the audience burst into sustained laughter and applause. I hope they don’t cut that out of the show when they edit.
Hey, it’s television, not NPR. There was emotion, not aphorisms interrupted with reed music. The Dr. Phil episode on revenge airs tomorrow and I’m more worried about how my hair will look than about how I’ll sound. My ideas I could control — my hair they dealt with entirely.
And I hope to get back to the rest of my routine soon. Thanks for your patience. And don’t look at the hair.
9 Responses to Dr. Phil, Revenge, and Me
falzf - October 27, 2009 at 11:55 am
Gina, love your take on the wife’s double run-over! Yup, seems like restraint to me!Laurie
ratbag - October 27, 2009 at 3:32 pm
FYI The taping is currently scheduled to air tomorrow, Wednesday Oct. 28th. Reminds me of a current story running in our state of 3 women getting even with a cheating husband/boyfriend. They found out he was carrying on with all three and sought revenge by luring him to a hotel and gluing his (not so private now) private parts to his stomach with super glue. Prosecution is pending…
laro1470 - October 28, 2009 at 9:04 am
Well deserved punishments, all of them.
cjambors - October 28, 2009 at 9:08 am
Ah…sweet revenge: a dish best served cold or, perhaps, best served by multiple tire tracks over a cheating man’s midsection. This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for it! cjs
11182967 - October 28, 2009 at 10:52 am
Thanks for the comments on the new format. It’s not easy to navigate for old fogies (no doubt part of the intention) and far too civilized (ditto). The previous format lent itself to the easy experession of a lot of idiocies by folks who may not even have paid for their Chronicle subscriptions, but it did seem to permit a far better representation of fringe opinion in the academy. That’s important–on any given topic 85-90 % of the commentary is so predictable as to be useless. It’s only when we hear from the fringes that we have an idea of what’s going on in the parts of the enterprise which actually engender change, of one sort or another. I vote for a little less civilization and a little more anarchy. John Tee
minnesotan - October 28, 2009 at 4:25 pm
If the roles were changed, women would be outraged. Imagine it: a woman listened to her biological programming, which was contrary to what the man in the relationship desired from her, so he either murdered her or sent her to the hospital for it. Intentionally.Yay for social justice! Yay for cultural norms regarding marriage and monogamy! Yay for equity and feminism!Jerks. ;)
catalin_dunnett - October 28, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Way right, Gina – Hate the new format. It’s dull and doesn’t allow for anonymity so that the more vulnerable members of the academy can be scared off. I also regret the loss of graphics at the head of each Brainstorm post – very impersonal now.As to Dr. Phil and parking lot revenge fantasies…. a girl can dream, can’t she? [Not ABOUT Dr. Phil - what's wrong with you people? Oh yes, you were - I heard that.]Fraying on the lunatic fringe – Cat.
11161452 - October 28, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Yes, the Houston woman who hit the husband with her Mercedes (and with their kid in the car, which I found a bit unsavory) was big news here in my home state. I believe that a prominent judge was asked what (other than guilt) ultimately convicted her, and he said, “I think it was probably the victory lap.”
katiebeautifulkatie - October 28, 2009 at 10:52 pm
I’m laughing at the “victory lap” line. Thanks.