My stepsons are at that adorable age where they’re both attorneys; it’s so much easier than the Baby Gap stage, or that other stage when we were saving money for bail.
You can see, therefore, that it’s been several years since we’ve had to worry about the admissions process for our own immediate tribe, and now that my brother’s kids are all fully launched and sailing along in their own orbits (one with a Master’s in Library Science, one getting an MBA, one at Concordia in Montreal), the only ones we need even think about the children of our friends.
Turns out, however, that our friends have had lots of children over the years. And they all seem to be applying to college at once. It’s like a giant mudslide of youth heading towards us—inexorable, overwhelming, and with the possibility of getting more than a little messy.
Because what are you going to say to one when you know you can’t say it to the other? You know they’re going run into each other—at some performance, at some party, at some admissions meeting someplace—and exchange notes.
“Gina suggested Yale? Because of the Theater Department? Funny to hear that. No, no, it’s fine. Of course your Alphonse should consider Yale. I heard he was lovely in House of Blue Leaves last year. But didn’t he have panic attacks? Oops, she probably didn’t mean for me to let you know she’s shared that. Sorry. But Alphonse would adore Yale and of course they’d love him. It’s just that our Eloise is also interested in acting and Gina didn’t mention New Haven to us and I’m just wondering whether she doesn’t think Elly is up to Al’s level despite her perfect score on the….”
These conversations rarely end with a hug and kiss.
But I do feel I possess a certain intuitive, if flickering, insight into some good school/student matchmaking. There was the boy from the Midwest who ended up at Maryland and is now one of their star alums; there’s the girl from Long Island who got a great deal at UNC and found a second home in the South; there’s the single mom’s son from New Hampshire who found his way to Austin on a full scholarship and wants to stay in Texas for a graduate degree; there’s the doctor’s son from Florida who ended up at UBC and has never been happier.
It’s luck and money (who has it, who is willing to spend it, who can get the college to offer it, who can get someone to loan it, who is willing to work for it), as well as a willingness to look away from the usual places and a willingness to schlep a few miles from home, that usually does the trick.
Oh, and having brains, patience, wit, and a commitment to make good on what you promise your parents’ friend Gina.
Since I’ve found myself being asked a lot of questions concerning admissions over the past several weeks, I thought I’d turn the question over to you: What do you tell your friends? What’s your quickest, most honest, most useful advice concerning the admissions process?
