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I’m just saying, Christ used to whip your kind and throw you out of the Temple.

August 18, 2008, 10:56 am

I know Bill Donahue does not speak for all Catholics. But I kinda wish the rest of us could come up with a way to sit on him until he stops embarrassing the faith. There’s seventy million of us in this country, give or take a lapse. We could go in shifts. Make it an event at the parish picnic.

The latest conniption Donahue is throwing concerns the invitation of Bitch Ph.D. and Towleroad, as press-bloggers, to the Democratic convention. His complaint about the latter seems to be that the site is aimed at gays and criticized the trim of the robe of the Pope. Fashion criticism of the Holy See was cited in Anselm’s Proslogion as one of the seven mortal sins.

Even better (by which I mean even more asinine) are the reasons for protesting B’s inclusion: she finds circus balloon Jesuses to be offensive, which I’m reading as “tacky as all get out.” What’s beautiful about this? That it’s identical to the complaint Donahue & company made themselves about the Chocolate Jesus sculpture.

I could riff for a while on the metaphysical importance of permitting the Crucifixion to be depicted in squeaky latex but not luscious chocolate. I could go on about how watered down the concept of “defamation” must be if someone saying ‘I’m a really crappy Catholic…” counts as an offense.

But I think I’m going to just stand in silence and in awe, brought low before the majesty and the hilarity. On second thought, just one little question for Donahue: how bad was your religious education that you thought you were supposed to emulate the whiny letter-of-the-law types in the Gospels?

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