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My love for Phil Nugent knows no bounds. For Rudy Giuliani, not so much.

December 6, 2007, 7:39 am

Yesterday, while sitting in my office with Eric and another colleague, we began, as is our wont, talking about the likely Democratic and Republican nominees. The conversation quickly devolved into a discussion of who would be the worst president among the contenders. And Eric and I agreed that the answer is Rudy! I went so far as to claim that If Rudy! is elected, I’m going to uproot my family and move to my ancestral homeland — no, not Cleveland, but Canada. Our colleague, though, seemed less certain. It’s not that she loves Rudy! or anything like that; I think she just can’t stand the cold, so Canada’s not really an option.

But of course Phil Nugent, as with almost every pressing issue of the day, has the definitive answer (here and here). And I think he’s right. It’s Rudy’s! outsized lust for power coupled with his small-minded bullying that makes him such a threat. I’ll always remember when Rudy! became Ahab, obsessed with shuttering the Brooklyn Museum for its decision to exhibit a white whale an image of the Virgin spattered with elephant poo. Nor can I forget when Rudy! plumbed the depths of creepitude by trying to cancel New York City’s mayoral election after 9/11 — because he beleived that only he could save the republic Gotham.

Regardless, I’m familiarizing myself with the latest disputes about fishing off the Grand Banks, learning about the status of First Nations’ land claims, and memorizing Guy Lafleur’s rookie card. The only sticking point is, of course, poutine. I wonder what Phil Nugent has to say about the relative merits of living through a Rudy! presidency versus putting cheese curds and gravy on fries.

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