The theoretical physicist Stephen W. Hawking stepped down today from his position as Cambridge University’s Lucasian Professor of Mathematics, a seat once occupied by Sir Isaac Newton, the Daily Mail reports. Once told that he would not live past 23 because of his paralyzing motor-neuron disease, Mr. Hawking is now 67, the mandatory retirement age for the prestigious chair.

He has held the post since 1979, and he will continue to work at Cambridge, his research uninterrupted.

But if this whole loss-of-title thing starts to annoy him, Professor Hawking might want to send his CV to universities in the United States. Colleges on this side of the pond ceased enforcing a mandatory retirement age of 70 in 1994, when an academic exemption for a federal age-discrimination law expired.

Ever wonder why Stanford University does not have more rabid sports fans? Danny Belch, a columnist for The Stanford Daily, has an answer: The university is “just too good at everything.” That’s right, because Stanford excels in so many sports, fans lack one or two teams to rally around, according to Mr. Belch.
 
He continues. “We are unique at Stanford and that uniqueness separates us. We aren’t psycho crazy fans, because we have other passions in life. We will be creators of new technologies, future world leaders and strategists, innovators and developers. Most of our minds do not revolve around sports 24/7. We are not just one-dimensional — we did not come here just to attend sporting events. And that is perfectly fine by me. because I don’t think other schools can say the same.”
 
And if you’re wondering what Stanford students smell like, it’s roses and sandalwood. --Eric Hoover

Wondering why it's taking so long for the National Science Foundation to get back to you on that grant application? Could be the guy in charge of your file was busy looking at porn.

The Washington Times, fleshing out earlier reports of porn surfing by agency employees, reports that "one senior executive spent at least 331 days looking at pornography on his government computer and chatting online with nude or partially clad women without being detected." The unnamed man has since retired.

"He explained that these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that," agency investigators wrote.

The left-leaning defenders of academic freedom are rallying to the aid of a man they generally love to hate: the conservative activist David Horowitz.

The Saint Louis University chapters of the College Republicans and Young America's Foundation had invited Mr. Horowitz to speak on the campus on October 13, but university administrators told the students in a series of meetings that they could not hold the event as planned.

The blog College Freedom, which generally is highly critical of Mr. Horowitz, responded on Sunday with an article blasting the university. Cary Nelson, president of the American Association of University Professors, chimed in on Monday with a statement arguing that "the administration's claim to support academic freedom...

Back in 2005, when the first scholarly symposium on Bruce Springsteen took place, heavy hints were dropped that the man himself might make a surprise appearance. He didn't. Four years later, he's getting another chance.

Virginia Tech University, Penn State University at Altoona, and Monmouth University are jointly sponsoring "Glory Days: A Bruce Springsteen Symposium" through Sunday at Monmouth's campus, with sidetrips to significant spots on the Jersey Shore, where Springsteen got his start. Will he show this year? (As if you'd believe us.)

No one has suggested that four lads from Dublin might show up at "U2: The Hype and Feedback," October 2-4 at North Carolina Central University in Durham, N.C. But with the band playing an October 3 gig down the road in Raleigh, you can't fault fans for hoping, can you?

If anyone were going to turn out for the conference being held in his honor, ...

Everyone's familiar with college rankings, those ham-handed attempts at quantifying that je ne sais quoi that separates the truly great colleges from the ones that haven't yet figured out how to game the system.

Now CBS MoneyWatch.com has ranked the rankings and determined that "America's Best Colleges '09," by Forbes magazine, is the best of the bunch. (Forbes's pick for No. 1, in case you missed it in August: the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.) Forbes beats U.S. News & World Report, Kiplinger's, The Princeton Review, Washington Monthly, and the American Council of Trustees and Alumni because the business magazine "actually attempts to measure the quality of the education students receive."

Next up: Ranking the rankings rankings. --Don Troop

A British university administrator's "humor" column in the Times Higher Education Supplement says that when an attractive female student "flashes her admiration," the male scholar should follow this advice: "Enjoy her! She's a perk."

Hilarity does not ensue.

To be fair to Terence Kealey, vice-chancellor of the University of Buckingham, his essay is part of a lighthearted package on "The Seven Deadly Sins of the Academy," and it emphasizes a "look but not touch" approach to faculty-student relations. Occasionally, he writes, a student will "flaunt you her curves ... which you should admire daily to spice up your sex, nightly, with the wife."

The BBC reports that the National Union of Students has condemned Mr. Kealey's article as "insulting and disrespectful to women," a sentiment echoed by several readers commenting on the Times's site. "The piece really does just make him sound...

An 18-inch-long dead salmon showed activity along the midline of its brain when it was shown photos of humans in social settings, according to a neuroimaging study led by Craig Bennett, a postdoctoral researcher in psychology at the University of California at Santa Barbara. The point of the study was to show that false positives are commonplace in neuroimaging research.

"The salmon was shown a series of photographs depicting human individuals in social situations with a specified emotional valence," the researchers reported. "The salmon was asked to determine what emotion the individual in the photo must have been experiencing."

Also scanned but without result: a pumpkin and a Cornish hen, also dead. --Don Troop

(Thanks, New Scientist)

As audiophiles the world over debate the merits of the recently released Beatles remasters, it seems appropriate to note that 40 years ago today, the student newspaper at Drake University was the first news outlet known to have reported that Paul McCartney was dead.

A columnist for The McDowell News marks the anniversary, and a group of academics trace the history of the rumor in a treatise that can be found on the Web.

Sara Gaspar had been working for Notre Dame's catering department for about three months when the university inexplicably deposited a $29,387 "gratuity" into her bank account this spring, the South Bend Tribune reports.

Ms. Gaspar claims she notified Notre Dame three times of the mistake before spending the money on medical bills and a Volkswagen Jetta. Now Notre Dame is suing her, saying that Ms. Gaspar was supposed to have been paid only $29.87 as her share of a tip, and denying that she ever notified anyone. The university wants the overpayment back, plus legal costs -- money that Ms. Gaspar, who works part time at a restaurant and lives with her mother, says she no longer has.

What, we can't help but wonder, would Touchdown Jesus do?

Hat tip: Obscure Store & Reading Room

--Don Troop