Hard work can be just that -- hard. So how do you know when your work situation is more difficult than it should be? After nearly three years in my first postdoctoral position in biology, I came to the awkward conclusion that staying on the job would leave me short of my career goals.
Deciding to Leave
I'd like to say that the hardest part of leaving my postdoc was deciding to leave, but that was not the case. Still, persuading myself to move on took time; more than a year passed after I first considered this option before I committed to do it. My mentor was a junior faculty member and principal investigator (PI) who had little experience training new scientists. And exhaustive discussions with him led nowhere.
Among my greatest concerns: The lab had experienced a complete personnel turnover during my time there. None of the postdocs or technicians who had previously left the lab were in good standing with our PI, and none were able to obtain a positive reference from him. A strong PI-postdoc relationship is vital for obtaining a tenure-track position, and my future would rely significantly on my mentor's favorable recommendation to potential future employers.
Moving on would be a dicey move, so I took the time to consider a few factors:
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Was I learning and getting good scientific experience? I was, and I will be forever grateful for the expertise I gained. However, junior faculty members are under a lot of pressure to publish, and I felt that my findings were being published before our theories had been adequately challenged.
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Was I publishing enough? My first two years were productive, and most of my work was already published. However, a lack of scientific focus in the lab compromised the solidity of my data. Under my mentor's instruction, I managed three projects that were experimentally very different from one another, each requiring familiarity with an independent subset of literature and techniques. Our last manuscript review confirmed my suspicions by stating that we had put a lot of work into generating data, but our analysis lacked depth and focus. I had to agree.
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If I stayed on and ultimately landed a tenure-track job, would I have a project to take with me to establish my own career? My project had been successful and had become the mainstay of the lab. An inherent conflict of interest would arise when it came time for my mentor to supply my new lab with reagents. A PI has little motivation to supply a lab that would likely become a direct competitor. Because my mentor was a junior faculty member, this was a more fundamental issue than it would be for an established PI with more project areas under exploration.
Beyond the professional concerns were personal ones: Could I afford to be unemployed? That required some number-crunching and anticipatory saving. Since my spouse would be directly in line to suffer along with me both emotionally and financially, it was also important that we were in agreement about my decision to leave the lab.
Making the Move
As it turned out, the most challenging aspect of leaving my postdoc position was resigning. My first attempt elicited this response from my mentor: "No, you are not leaving." I gave it another week to see if things would get better. They did not.
The second time I resigned officially, by letter, to the human-resources department of my institution and included my departure date in writing. Armed with my letter, I decided to approach my mentor again. I was determined to keep the conversation positive. I saw no benefit in blaming or condemning, so I emphasized how grateful I was for the training. Not surprisingly, my boss was very hostile. To keep things on track I let him know when I didn't find his comments productive to our discussion. Previous meetings with my PI had taught me that using such phrases as "this is unproductive" or saying nothing at all was better than saying something I would later regret. I knew that I wanted to continue working in academe and that I would need another postdoc before I would be competitive for tenure-track positions, but I purposely resigned before setting up any interviews for a new postdoc. That way, my future employers would not look like they had been pursuing me while I still worked for one of their colleagues. The scientific world is a small one. I knew that my old and new bosses would probably run in the same circle of professionals.
For my next postdoc, I wanted a position with a senior faculty member with a large laboratory who had experience training graduate students and postdocs. When it came time for me to apply for tenure-track jobs, I knew I would not get a solid recommendation from my old mentor, but I hoped to be able to compensate for that with a positive recommendation from an experienced, respected, and well-known scientist. Working in a large laboratory was important to obtain more independence and control over my projects. I wanted to develop a project that would relate to my previous work (to show consistency) but differ enough to prevent direct competition with my previous lab.
Initially I approached scientists via e-mail, simply asking for advice about my situation. That way they could suggest I work in their labs or they could suggest other labs where I would be a good fit. Many also offered to be a reference for me to the labs they recommended.
The scientific field has never seemed as small to me as it did during this search. The PIs with whom I met were clearly in a difficult situation, as all of them knew of my former boss and would not want existing or potential relationships with him threatened by my presence in their lab. During interviews, I refrained from condemning my lab and sharing information that could be disputed by my old boss. I stuck to concrete facts, such as the complete personnel turnover in the lab. To my surprise, other scientists in my field were aware of my former PI's personality and only one potential employer asked me directly during an interview about why I had quit.
Starting a New Position
Ultimately, my efforts paid off and I accepted a postdoc with a scientist who knew both me and my former boss well. By supporting me, my new mentor has forever altered his relationship with my old boss. Before I joined his lab, my new PI stated that he would personally inform my old boss in an effort to address any possible conflict.
Many people have been incredibly kind and helpful during my search for a second postdoc. I have made every effort to return their kindness. After accepting my new position, I e-mailed or telephoned everyone who had given me advice or help (like references) to thank them and let them know how my search had ended. I had received several job offers, so I e-mailed all of those potential employers to let them know I appreciated their time but had accepted another offer. I also e-mailed my former boss to inform him of my search's conclusion and let him know that I looked forward to seeing him at scholarly meetings.
Unfortunately, in our limited communication since I left the lab, my former mentor has remained hostile and uncooperative. His unwillingness to share reagents that I prepared while in his laboratory may affect my progress in my new lab. However, his resistance has only reinforced my commitment to the success of my new postdoc.
Few things induce loyalty to your boss like the recognition that he supported you at the risk of placing himself in an uncomfortable and potentially volatile situation. This time, a thoughtful and assertive approach led me to the right choice.
