For several years now, I have been facing the same dilemma: The countries that I want to work in don't match those that I want to live in. Consequently I've ended up producing two lists in my head, sort of like personal hit lists.
The first list -- of places I want to live -- reads something like this (in order of preference): Luxembourg, France, Italy, Germany, England. The second list -- of places where I would like to work -- reads almost the opposite: England, France, Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Luxembourg.
So what attracts me to the U.K.? Well, my academic heart lies there, with its many good universities, numerous conferences, well-equipped libraries, and the need to work, think, and write in English. Among European countries, it certainly provides good -- if not the best -- opportunities for young scholars. In the U.K., doctoral students and young researchers usually know where to look for jobs. Their week might even be structured by a desperate job hunt: waiting for the education supplement in The Guardian on Tuesdays, craving The Times Higher Education Supplement on Thursdays, and checking the job ads every day, sometimes several times a day, on www.jobs.ac.uk.
Although finding an academic position must be hard everywhere, my personal experience tells me that it is much easier in the U.K. than in France or Germany, for instance. In Germany, the weekly Die Zeit publishes job openings in research and higher education. As for France, I've yet to find the best place to hunt for jobs there.
Indeed, having looked for jobs in all of those countries for more than two years now, it seems to me that the U.K. has many more opportunities than most other European countries. In the U.K., I might find two job ads a month that closely fit my interests, while in France or Germany, there might be only one or two a year.
To give you some figures: Over the past two years, I've applied for one job in France, three in Germany, and nine in the U.K. Of those, I managed to secure two temporary posts in England -- the first as a teaching assistant and the second as a postdoctoral research associate, my current job -- both at the University of Sheffield.
In my country of origin, Luxembourg, nestled in the midst of France, Germany and Belgium, I come across a potentially interesting job every two to three years. For a country with half a million inhabitants, one university, and a research community consisting of around 500 individuals, that is hardly surprising.
But it is frustrating. Because my family, most of my friends, the girl I love, and the people I play music with all live in Luxembourg. My heart lies in Luxembourg. For me, it is the place that comes closest to what I would call "home" -- although that word has lost some of its meaning for me as I've been living abroad for almost 10 years now.
Yet my academic heart does not really feel "at home" in Luxembourg. Professionally speaking, I feel quite alone there, as no one is carrying out research in my field of interest (the sociology of science) and as it has not developed a vibrant research environment. I fear that accepting a job in Luxembourg would mean being in danger of becoming less productive, less connected, and less stimulated.
Ideally, I would like to work in an excellent university, surrounded by excellent colleagues and research facilities. But in Luxembourg, I believe that I would have to compromise those ideals and work in a young, small, and yet-to-be-excellent research environment.
I don't wish to sound arrogant, or pretend I am a top researcher who thinks of himself as too good to work in some places, but place does matter. In a small country, with a small research community, there seems to be less potential to do excellent research. A friend of mine always says it is easier to become a big fish in a small pond -- admittedly, a tempting thought. But the prospect of being a small fish in a big pond, a more humble fish having to face more competition, attracts me more.
I've come up with two solutions to my problem, both of which, unfortunately, are unrealistic, although I'll share them with you anyway.
The first would be to become an academic superstar overnight. Then I could find a position at the university of my liking and be a visiting professor occasionally in the country of my liking. Given that I am 32, and only just about to publish a couple of peer-reviewed articles, the chances of my becoming such a star overnight are slight, unless I go the route of identity theft, brain theft, and/or plastic surgery.
The second solution would be to live in one place and commute to work in another. I've heard some amazing stories about academics who work in a university in the U.K. and live in Switzerland or Spain, for example. But traveling between the place where my academic heart lies and the place where my personal heart lies would not only take almost an entire day's journey, it would also be environmentally unethical and increase my carbon footprint to the size of two football fields.
My narrow research interests further limit the places where I could potentially find work. I feel most passionate about an interdisciplinary field looking into the interrelationships among science, technology, and society. Roughly 10 university departments in the U.K., 10 in France, and around 5 in Germany specialize in that area, or a closely related one.
As for scientific disciplines, I feel most comfortable within sociology and human geography. Such narrow interests predefine and seriously constrain any job hunt. For professionals who are needed everywhere, such as medical doctors, engineers, or lawyers, the world might be their oyster, but it is not mine. I have come to realize that for people like me, who would like to do research and teach in a particular institution, such as a university, and within a particular domain, say the sociology of science, I am much more like a rare species living in a sparse habitat.
Writing here about my personal dilemma hasn't brought me any closer to a solution. However, I think that I'm not alone in my dilemma; many people I either know or have been reading about, have been through similar troubles when trying to combine professional and personal matters.
Yet maybe sharing my experience and hearing how others deal with such issues is one way forward. Any tips from you, the reader? Is this a tension that will be resolved one day, or is this an inevitable part of the marriage between academic and personal lives? As for now, I'll keep on trying to make my dual hit lists converge.
