It's almost summer and you still haven't been hired anywhere for next year. Your first-choice departments have hired someone else, many of your second choices have sent form letters to you, and now even the places you would never have seriously considered are looking like the professorial Promised Land.
I've been there. I'm still there, in fact. Like many people out there, I have sent out CVs, done the interviews, sat by the phone, and then got nothing. But all is not yet lost, for the season of last-minute hiring is upon us. A last-minute offer is more likely to be for a temporary faculty post than on the tenure track, but at least it's a job in academe.
On three separate occasions I have been hired for positions in English that opened up unexpectedly in the summer. One department hired me three weeks before the semester started, one hired me a week before, and one hired me five days prior to the first day of classes -- all for temporary positions. Of course in each situation I had to move (400 miles, 1,000 miles, and 250 miles, respectively), and in each case I had much of the stress associated with moving. By the third time this had happened, however, I had a pretty good system figured out. I have prepared the following tips so you can be in a good position to accept that 11th-hour offer.
Be ready to actually move. Collect boxes, buy packing tape, get a dog or cat crate if you have pets, and know the locations and prices of your local movers or truck-rental business. You may even want to reserve a truck or trailer in advance of when you think you could be moving. If the colleges to which you have applied have quite a range of starting dates for the fall semester, at least get a list of many truck-rental outlets so you have a better chance of actually getting a truck. If you are moving things yourself, make sure you have a few friends on alert to help you with the heavy lifting.
Do a little spring cleaning. Save yourself time, your security deposit, and arguments with your landlord by cleaning your home thoroughly this spring. Dust everything and organize all that you can. Keep your belongings clean, too; they'll be easier to pack if they are neat and tidy.
Talk to your landlord. Let your landlord know that you may be moving but that it is not definite. Try to talk your way into a month-to-month lease. Be friendly. Not only do you need to be able to move quickly, you need a good relationship with your landlord so you can get good references to get a new place after you move. Smile.
Start emptying your refrigerator. Stop buying new food, and use up everything that you can. Then, when you have a mostly empty refrigerator, buy just what you need for a few days at a time. Remember, you could get hired away at a moment's notice. While you're at it, clean out that medicine cabinet. I recently found some cough syrup that was at least six years old. If it had been single-malt Scotch, it would have been aging nicely.
Organize your books. Since you have all those boxes and you are cleaning everything, it is time to put your books in order -- whatever order you choose -- and pack them up. You would have to this eventually anyway, and once they are off the shelves, you can clean those dusty, neglected corners. If you don't get a last-minute offer, at least your house is clean and your books organized. Good for you.
Make sure you can be found. Get call forwarding, voice mail, a cell phone, or an answering machine if you don't have one already. As technology advances, there are more and more ways to make sure people can keep in touch with you. If you are on vacation, or even away for a few minutes, you don't want to be overlooked by a college that will simply look to the next name on the list.
Update your contact information. If you are moving to a summer address -- back home until you get a job, overseas for summer study, whatever -- send a letter to every college you have applied to that has not rejected you already. And you may want to send them to departments that have rejected you -- I don't think I'm the only person who has been hired by a place that has already sent out their rejection notices only to find their choice has pulled out a couple weeks before the semester started. This not only lets the departments know your whereabouts, but it reminds them that you are still interested. Even the most organized departments put off the hiring-committee work until the last possible moment. Now you're fresh in their minds.
Make sure you have a clean summer-weight suit. You may have a last-minute interview. Don't do what I did three summers ago. I got a call to interview at 8 a.m. the next day at a campus some 250 miles away. Since I was still teaching an evening summer class, I left late, arriving in town at a little past midnight. While unpacking I suddenly realized that my suit was back in New York, on a hook right by the door where I had hung it so I would not forget it! I made several phone calls and found a Wal-Mart that was open all night. I drove another 40 minutes, finally found the store, and bought slacks, shirt, and tie (Wal-Mart doesn't carry suits). After four hours of sleep I interviewed and got the job -- probably because I related my travails of the night before and they could tell I wanted the job as desperately as they needed it filled. (Also, make sure your portfolio is up to date.)
Make some money. Finally, you need money for the summer job hunt as well as for basic survival. Teaching summer school can be a problem if your new job's semester overlaps with the summer session you are teaching, but many colleges are quite accommodating and will help you out with this. If possible, though, find a job that you can quit easily. Temping -- doing temporary office work -- is an ideal job for the academic because we usually can type pretty quickly and edit well. The assignments are short term, pay well, and can be left at a moment's notice.
I've heard many people say they don't want to be a secretary since they have a Ph.D. My answer: Doctors need to eat. I've cooked, delivered pizzas, word-processed, answered phones, and taken jobs at all levels in order to survive -- before and after earning my doctorate. I've usually been more educated than my boss, and there is no shame in that. I'd be much more ashamed of starving or going bankrupt because I was too full of myself to work at a menial job.
At this point, many readers might wonder, Is this any way to live? Maybe not for everyone, but it's the reality facing many a Ph.D. in the humanities. And it can even be rewarding if you keep in mind what you're working toward -- landing a tenure-track job.
Some readers might think that packing up everything in anticipation of a potential move verges on overkill. The big question you have to ask yourself is, "What is my long-term goal?" If your goal is to find a tenure-track position at a college or university, wouldn't you want to be prepared to move should the chance arise instead of staying put and winding up juggling a few adjunct teaching jobs because you mistakenly thought that moving one more time would be too hard on you? The momentary stress of getting organized and ready to move, should an opportunity come along, will seem like time well spent when a new semester is getting under way and you are creating a syllabus, looking for a place to live, and preparing to begin work on a campus you probably know little about.
I can't guarantee that you will get a job at the last minute. No one can do that. But if you think ahead and prepare yourself, you can decrease the stress and chaos of a last-minute move. That way, instead of worrying about transporting your cat or losing your security deposit, you can concentrate on your syllabuses, teaching, and learning to fit in at your new college.
