By David W. Hanson

The decision to have children can be made in so many different ways: traditional two-parent conception, surrogacy, foster care, adoption. And the types of adoption are varied, too. For many gay and lesbian employees in academe, adoption is a commonly chosen course.

Over the past month, I interviewed several gay and lesbian professors and staff members about the adoption process. Some are in the midst of it. Some have been through it. And some, like me and my partner, have decided to forgo adoption for a mix of personal and professional reasons. (We had a surrogacy agreement with a birth mother several years ago that didn't work out.)

The people I interviewed told emotional stories and offered candid advice, but they also offered hope. Some issues in adoption are specific to gay and lesbian adoptive parents (single and couples), but our conversations made clear that institutions can easily develop programs—without significant cost—to assist all employees through the adoption process. Those institutions that make the effort will attain an advantage in the hiring and retention market, as well.

An abundance of advice is available about what to expect in the adoption process—before, during, and after—but little of it is organized in ways that deal with the issues specific to gay and lesbian parents. So my first piece of advice for prospective parents is to take the time to do a lot of research, and don't be afraid to ask any questions. Factors to consider:

Legal issues. The legal landscape for gays and lesbians pursuing adoption varies considerably by state and even at times by county. For example, Florida law bars "homosexuals" from adoption, and Utah law disallows unmarried, cohabitating couples from petitioning to adopt, thus preventing gay and lesbian partners in a relationship that is not a legal marriage from adopting. Other states are far more liberal and progressive.

In some states, such as Georgia, the chances of gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered people adopting may depend, in part, on the county of residence. Georgia law does not specifically permit same-sex couples to adopt jointly or prevent them from doing so, and no statewide court has held one way or another, leaving it up to the lower courts (by county) to grant or deny adoption petitions.

Two of the gay and lesbian adoptive parents I met (one single mother and the other in a partnership) admitted that they relocated to a different county where gay adoption was more likely to be granted. The single mother said that because she lives in Georgia, it was important to "get the right judge" and on "the right docket" and know which lawyers to hire so she would not have to "hide her gayness."

The legal issues are not confined to the adoption process. For instance, the federal Family and Medical Leave Act allows a parent to take time off to care for a child, but if a state does not grant second-parent adoption or recognize parental rights, then a same-sex partner may not be a "legal" parent under state law to take advantage of FMLA leave after the baby arrives or if the child falls ill.

Understanding the legal environment on a state and county level took tremendous effort for some of these parents. The single mom suggested that her institution could have provided helpful information on a Web site or could have created an e-mail discussion group for gay and lesbian adoptive parents.

Financial issues. No question, the cost of raising a child in our country is significant. But gay and lesbian parents may face particular financial issues—especially single gay parents who want to adopt. For example, a single parent must provide a "single-income analysis" to adoption agencies or officials in certain foreign countries, and the scrutiny may be higher for gay and lesbian single people seeking to adopt.

International and cultural bias. Interviewing those who have progressed all the way through the adoption process was informative, especially concerning the bias that older gay and lesbian parents may face. They may be slated for "nonprime" children, and certain countries may specifically refuse to allow them to adopt at all. Interestingly, many foreign adoptions are most successful when managed by Christian-based organizations. Those groups tend to be reputable, but more than one person I interviewed said that some of them will not represent gay and lesbian singles or couples in foreign adoptions.

Human resources. Consistently high on the wish list of people I interviewed was for their institution's human-resources office to assign a staff member to serve as an "ombudsman" on adoption issues for gay and lesbian employees. Some suggested hiring an expert in the adoption process to serve all faculty and staff members, while others simply suggested that a staff member be assigned the job of starting an e-mail discussion group on adoption and keeping a list of resources and contacts.

Others recommended that someone in human resources be intimately familiar with state laws and "know how to work around them." One faculty member suggested that it would be helpful for someone at the institution to provide information about local neighborhoods, including the best locations friendly to families with gay and lesbian parents. Many suggested that colleges develop an adoption guide with a section about issues that could affect gay and lesbian employees differently than other adoptive parents. It would help, for example, if the human-resources office could provide a list of reputable adoption agencies that do not discriminate.

Employee-assistance offices. One recommendation I heard that some colleges are already doing is to build an adoption "community" through their employee-assistance office. Those who are adopting need to understand the before, during, and after of bringing a child into their lives and, if the adoption is cross-cultural or cross-racial, they need to understand what to expect in their academic and geographic communities.

Campus benefits. When asked what institutional benefits would be most helpful to gay and lesbian adoptive parents, the list of expectations included many common-sense ideas that would be equally appropriate for straight parents: on-campus child care, health benefits, adoption counseling.

But some ideas were specific to the gay and lesbian parents, such as creating an institutional-climate survey with questions about campus perceptions of gay and lesbian parents and families. If a campus is progressive and accepting, that survey will provide data to validate the environment, but the data could also reveal gaps where additional training and programming could be helpful.

One interviewee suggested offering programs on "how to make parenting easier" for all parents, but having breakout sessions for gay and lesbian parents to talk about issues pertinent to their children's lives, including how to handle anti-gay discrimination.

More than anything, gay and lesbian employees I interviewed wanted a way to connect with other adoptive or prospective parents via programming and communications sponsored by their college or university. Finding "others in the system who will know our reality" is often the biggest help of all.

Faculty versus staff members. A lesbian couple—one a tenure-track faculty member and the other a staff member—agreed during an interview that while both jobs are all consuming, the faculty member is up against a tenure clock, and adoption for her could have an early-career impact. Many institutions extend the tenure clock for adoptive parents.

The couple said the faculty member's department is particularly progressive with gay and lesbian parents, but that was not necessarily the case across the campus.

The couple noted that higher education is a "bubble" for many people—more progressive toward gays and lesbians than other sectors of society. But within academe, a hierarchy exists among faculty and staff members that can present positive and negatives when it comes to adoption and child rearing.

For instance, professors tend to have more flexible schedules than staff members and may be able to be at home with a child more easily.

On the other hand, staff members don't face publish-or-perish pressures or a looming tenure vote, so their jobs may, in some ways, be more stable. This couple suggested it would be helpful for institutions to have counseling for couples in faculty/staff relationships.

Getting good local advice. The Internet provides abundant resources for those seeking to adopt. The problem for future adoptive parents is that there may be too much information available and it is not always clear if it's reputable or accurate. To fully understand what lies ahead, your best bet is to connect with other gay and lesbian adoptive parents and talk about the many challenges and ways to surmount them. Institutions can be helpful by providing a simple Web page where people can "opt in" to a community of similarly situated employees.

While an ombuds officer with expertise and understanding about the many legal and financial issues of adoption would be ideal for all university employees, the best advice I heard was for institutions to simply create a platform, formally on the Web or informally, in which support among adoptive parents can build and grow.

David W. Hanson is associate vice president of administration and special assistant to the executive vice president at Emory University.